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Albatross

2x04 The Practical Joker How Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth Star Trek: The Animated SeriesSeason 2
Albatross

 WRITTEN BY

Dario Finelli

 DIRECTED BY

Bill Reed

 AIRED ON

September 28, 1974

 RUNTIME

23 minutes

 STARRING


 VIEWS

257

 LAST UPDATE

2024-09-21 14:46:08

 PAGE VERSION

Version 4

 LIKES

0

 DISLIKES

0

 SUMMARY

Dr. McCoy is arrested and held responsible for causing a plague that ravaged the planet Dramia II, where he performed a mass-innoculation 19 years earlier.

 STORY

No story yet.

 BEHIND THE SCENES

No trivia yet.

 QUOTES

Spock: According to this, Doctor McCoy was responsible for a plague which ravaged the planet Dramia Two some nineteen years ago, Captain.

Spock: Captain, you're... blue.

Spock: Hippocrates would not have approved of lame excuses, Doctor.



 FILMING LOCATIONS



 TOPICS

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 REVIEWS

Pike avatar

Enjoyable

Written by Pike on 2017-09-23
★ ★ ★

Albatross is interesting, but not a great episode either.

VERDICT
I give it 3 out of 5. Enjoyable.

 TRANSCRIPT

Captain's log, stardate 5275.6. Preparing to beam aboard the Enterprise, following the successful completion of delivery of medical supplies to the planet Dramia, in the remote Dramian star system.
[Dramia]

(Dramians are light orange, have massive torsos and feet, minute waists and hips, and elongated four fingered hands)
DRAMIAN: We of Dramia wish to thank you and the others of your Federation for your invaluable assistance, Captain Kirk.
KIRK: We hope through our medical assistance programs. to develop and strengthen relations with star systems such as yours, Supreme Prefect. Well, shall we? Kirk to Enterprise. Beam us aboard, Scotty.
DRAMIAN: If you would be so kind, Captain.
KIRK: Belay that, Mister Scott. Yes, sir?
DRAMIAN: Commander Demos?
DEMOS: I have here a warrant for the arrest and trial of one of your party, Captain.
KIRK: Warrant? Who?
DRAMIAN: Read it, Captain.
KIRK: (reading scroll) You are hereby directed to surrender for trial by the people of Dramia, Doctor Leonard McCoy, Medical Officer, USS Enterprise. Is this some kind of joke?
DEMOS: The wanton slaughter of hundreds of people is not a joke, Captain.
MCCOY: Slaughter? Hundreds of people?
SPOCK: According to this, Doctor McCoy was responsible for a plague which ravaged the planet Dramia Two some nineteen years ago, Captain.
KIRK: Let me see that.
DRAMIAN: As you will note, Captain, the warrant is perfectly in order, approved by your own Federation.

[Bridge]

SCOTT: Doctor McCoy arrested? For murder, Captain? Sir, if you want me and some of the men to beam down, just in case
KIRK [OC]: No, Mister Scott. The warrant's legal. Mister Spock and I are at the Hall of Justice. We'll keep you informed.

[Hall of Justice]

DEMOS: Your Doctor McCoy headed a mass inoculation programme on Dramia Two, nineteen years ago. When his force left, a massive plague struck the planet, killing most of its people.
KIRK: That doesn't mean he was responsible for it.
DEMOS: His trial will tell, Captain.
KIRK: Trial? You mean kangaroo court. I've heard about Dramian justice.
SPOCK: Captain, you're becoming emotional.
KIRK: Of course I am. Bones harming other beings. You know better, Spock. I know better. Not Bones.

[Detention cell]

MCCOY: I wish I could be as sure, Jim. I, I just don't know. Is it possible that I really did?
KIRK: Nonsense.
SPOCK: The termination of your inoculation programme and the subsequent outbreak of plague could have been coincidence, Doctor.
MCCOY: Or a tragic mistake on my part.
KIRK: I don't buy that, Bones. Guard!
SPOCK: What now, Captain?
KIRK: Some pre-trial investigation, Mister Spock. On Dramia Two.
GUARD: Do not be assured by your friend's plans. Dramian justice is swift. Too swift for them to save you, perhaps.

[Bridge]

KIRK: Anything yet, Mister Spock?
SPOCK: No, Captain. The historical records of this solar system are spotty, at best, going back nineteen years. Mostly they're technical data, meteor showers, auroras, radiation reports.
KIRK: There it is.
SPOCK: Plague, Dramia Two. Of unknown origin, characterised by pigmentation changes in skin of victim, debilitation, death. Certain species known to have natural immunity, notably Vulcan. Hmm. Interesting.
KIRK: Go on, Mister Spock.

[Hall of Justice]

DEMOS: You are sure?
GUARD: Yes, Commander. The Earth captain is planning to visit Dramia Two to investigate the case.
DEMOS: Ready a patrol ship.

Captain's log, stardate 5275.8. Underway for planet Dramia Two for investigation of McCoy case. We are beyond subspace communications with Starfleet. Am proceeding under my own authority.

[Bridge]

KIRK: Estimated time of arrival, Mister Sulu?
SULU: Approximately four hours, Captain.
KIRK: Increase to warp six, Mister Scott. We may be racing against time.

[Engineering]

KIRK [OC]: If I know Dramian justice methods.
SCOTT: Aye, aye, Captain!

[Bridge]

SULU: Ship in pursuit, Captain.
KIRK: Origin?
SULU: I'd say Dramia, sir. It appears to be a one-man craft.
UHURA: Shall I make contact, sir?
KIRK: Yes. Belay that, Lieutenant.
SPOCK: You're planning something, Captain?
KIRK: Unless I miss my guess, that's friend Demos.
SULU: What if he attacks, sir?
KIRK: Why should he? We haven't contacted him, so we must not have detected him. He'd have to explain an attack. Besides, he'll probably prefer to sneak aboard, seeing that we carelessly left the hangar doors open.
UHURA: But the hangar doors aren't open, Captain.
KIRK: Ah, yes. Take care of that oversight, will you, Mister Sulu?
(Demos sees the hangar doors open, and flies straight in)

[Corridor outside hangar deck]

(Kirk and Spock arrive. Demos goes for a weapon)
KIRK: Now, now, Demos. You're hardly in a position to take on an entire crew.
DEMOS: And you are not in authority to conduct an investigation in our star system.
KIRK: You will remind me to report my conduct to the Federation, won't you Mister Spock?
SPOCK: Of course, Captain.
DEMOS: I demand that you report to the Federation now!
KIRK: I would, but unfortunately we're out of communications range.
DEMOS: Then I will proceed to your starbase and report your act.
KIRK: Sorry, Commander. Your ship is, er, impounded.
SPOCK: You are a stowaway, Commander.
DEMOS: I have been tricked.

Captain's log, stardate 5275.9. We are approaching Dramia Two, where we hope to find the answers concerning the question of Doctor McCoy's guilt or innocence. Situation normal. Aurora reported in the sector, however.

[Bridge]

KIRK: Radiation level, Mister Sulu?
SULU: Intense, Captain.
SPOCK: Decidedly non-lethal, however.
KIRK: Good. Then it's safe for us to beam down to Dramia Two. Shall we, gentlemen?

[Transporter room]

(Kirk, Spock and Demos are on the pads)
SCOTT: You're sure it's safe, Captain?
KIRK: Absolutely.
SPOCK: Decidedly. There's a difference, Captain.
KIRK: Now, now, Mister Spock, you're not trying to scare our Dramian friend, are you? Of course, you can back out if you'd like, Commander.
DEMOS: I go.
KIRK: You heard the man, Mister Scott.

[Planet surface]

(It is a scene of devastation. Barren ground and ruined buildings)
KIRK: Not the most enchanting place I've ever been to.
DEMOS: Plagues seldom leave behind fields of flowers, Captain.
(They see a figure amongst the ruins)
KIRK: Trouble?
DEMOS: They do not like outsiders.
SPOCK: Surely you're not an outsider, Commander. You're Dramian.
DEMOS: The distinction here is between the world of the living and the world of the walking dead.
KIRK: Inhospitable or not, he mustn't get away.
(They pursue a figure)
KIRK: Wait!
(The figure jumps off a cliff)
KIRK: He's disappeared. It's almost as if he dematerialised.
SPOCK: Not likely, Captain.
(Speck points to an opening in the cliff face)

[Cave entrance]

DEMOS: I would advise against that, Captain.
KIRK: I'm sure you won't mind if I ignore your advice.
SPOCK: Caution would seem to be advisable, Captain.
KIRK: Bones' life is on the line, Mister Spock.

[Cave]

KIRK: Cave dwellers? In the midst of your civilisation?
DEMOS: A result of your Doctor McCoy and his inhumane methods.
KIRK: You say it, Demos, but that doesn't
(Then he is pounced upon by the Dramian they have been chasing. Spock and Demos pull him off)
DEMOS: He attacked you because you are an Earthling, Captain, even as was McCoy.
KIRK: But how did he survive the plague?
DEMOS: He, like the others who remain here, was away at the time. They returned to their planet to find that their families had succumbed to the plague. He and a few others, senseless in their grief, chose to live here in desolation. You see, Captain, there were no actual survivors.
KOL-TAI: You are wrong. There was a survivor. I, Kol-Tai, survived. By what miracle, I do not know.
KIRK: Then you can tell us. Do you remember?
KOL-TAI: I remember people all about me, becoming blue in colour, then green and finally red.
SPOCK: The pigmentation changes associated with the disease in our computer records, Captain.
KIRK: Kol-Tai. Doctor McCoy, do you remember him?
KOL-TAI: The Earth doctor. He saved my life. He treated me for Saurian virus. A man who saves does not also kill, Commander.

[Planet surface]

KIRK: Beam us aboard, Mister Scott. Quickly.
SCOTT [OC]: Aye, aye, sir.

[Transporter room]

KIRK: Let's get underway for Dramia.
SCOTT: Sir, who is that?
KIRK: Meet Kol-Tai, Mister Scott. A friend of Doctor McCoy's.

[Bridge]

KIRK: Warp six, Scotty.

[Engineering]

SCOTT: I'll pour on the coal, Captain.
(As in an old blooper reel....)

[Bridge]

KIRK: Mister Spock?
SPOCK [OC]: Yes, Captain?

[Sickbay]

KIRK [OC]: How's our number one passenger doing?
SPOCK: Clean, fed, in good health, and resting.
KIRK [OC]: Good. We want him to be a sterling witness.

[Bridge]

(Enterprise's course takes it through the yellow, green, blue and red aurora)
SULU: Approaching Dramia, Captain.
KIRK: Let's hope the trial hasn't started.
SPOCK [OC]: Captain.
KIRK: Yes, Mister Spock. What is it?
SPOCK [OC]: The trial may be academic.
KIRK: Academic.

[Sickbay]

SPOCK: Yes, Captain. Kol-Tai is turning blue.

[Bridge]

KIRK: The plague!

[Sickbay]

KIRK: Set up an immediate quarantine, Lieutenant.
SPOCK: He's hardly fit to testify at the trial, Captain.
KIRK: We've got to save him.
DEMOS: For McCoy's sake.
KIRK: Yes, for McCoy's sake. And for Kol-Tai's sake too. You see, Commander, we do place a value on life. All life. Does that shock you, Commander?
DEMOS: It is not that. It is
SPOCK: Captain, you're blue.
(So are all the bridge crew, and Scott, and Demos. As they start to collapse)
KIRK: Mister Spock, take command.

SPOCK: Captain's log, stardate 5276.4. We are in orbit around the planet Dramia, under the conditions of general quarantine. As Commanding Office, I have ordered the activation of General Order Six.

[Bridge]

SPOCK: General Order Six has been activated?
SULU: Yes, sir. If everyone on board has perished at the end of twenty four hours, the ship will self-destruct in order to protect other beings from the disease on board.
SPOCK: Good. Report to Sickbay, Mister Sulu.
SULU: But sir, who will monitor?
SPOCK: I assure you I am capable, Mister Sulu.
KIRK: Mister Spock.
(He collapses against the wall)
SPOCK: Captain, your condition.
KIRK: We have to get McCoy. Must find an antidote.
(Uhura passes out)
SPOCK: This is the Enterprise. I must speak with the Supreme Prefect.
DRAMIAN [on viewscreen]: Why do you speak, and not your Captain?
SPOCK: The Captain and all of the crew members are incapacitated. The plague is aboard the Enterprise.
DRAMIAN [on viewscreen]: Demos?
SPOCK: The same. You must release Doctor McCoy temporarily. He is needed to find an antidote.
DRAMIAN [on viewscreen]: No.
SPOCK: We have a witness in McCoy's behalf. You must trust me.
DRAMIAN [on viewscreen]: Let the witness speak.
SPOCK: Impossible. He too is stricken.
DRAMIAN [on viewscreen]: Demos cannot speak, the witness cannot speak. Yet you wish us to release the prisoner, McCoy. Your treachery is transparent, Vulcan.
(end of transmission)
KIRK: Got to get McCoy.
SPOCK: If you'll permit me, Captain, I might be able to get McCoy.
KIRK: Spock, (he turns green) you're sure?
SPOCK: I can't infect the planet, Captain. And I can get McCoy.

[Detention cell]

(Spock neck-pinches the guard)
MCCOY: Spock! What in the world?
SPOCK: Later, Doctor.
(He uses the guard's device to nullify the forcefield holding McCoy)
MCCOY: Spock, have you and Jim gone out of your minds? Why, this is a jailbreak!
SPOCK: Doctor, just come with me, please.
MCCOY: No, Spock. It's illegal, that's what it is. Besides, I must stand trial. I have to find out.
SPOCK: Doctor, you will stand trial, you will find out, after you've found and antidote for the plague which is about to kill everyone aboard the Enterprise.
MCCOY: Plague? Why didn't you tell me?
SPOCK: You wouldn't give me a chance. You realise, Doctor, if you go, and fail to find an antidote, you too will die.
MCCOY: I'm a doctor, Spock, a doctor. Get us beamed aboard.
SPOCK: Beam us aboard, Captain.

[Transporter room]

(Kirk has operated the controls, then collapsed again)
MCCOY: Jim!

[Sickbay]

MCCOY: Anything, Spock?

[Bridge]

SPOCK: Negative, Doctor. The file on all known diseases doesn't recognise these symptoms of pigmentation changes.

[Sickbay]

MCCOY: Blast it, Spock, work harder. They're in the terminal stage.
(Kirk is yellow)
MCCOY: My readings keep shifting. It must be the activity of that blasted aurora.
KIRK: Bones, that's it. Aurora, changing colour.
MCCOY: Jim? Aurora? What

[Bridge]

MCCOY [OC]: Spock, feed in the data without mentioning the colour change symptoms.

[Sickbay]

SPOCK [OC]: That's it, Doctor. The colour change symptoms were misleading the computer.
MCCOY: Because they were caused by the aurora. Spock, there was an aurora nineteen years ago. I remember
SPOCK [OC]: Which brought on the particular plague just as this aurora has brought it on.
MCCOY: I didn't do it! Spock, the disease, what is it? What's the antidote?

[Bridge]

SPOCK: That's the problem, Doctor. There is no known antidote. However, Doctor, do you remember a certain Kol-Tai? A man you treated for Saurian virus?

[Sickbay]

MCCOY: Yes, I think I do. But what has that got to do with anything?

[Bridge]

SPOCK: Possibly nothing. However, Kol-Tai did survive the first plague.

[Sickbay]

MCCOY: Spock, I see what you mean. Saurian virus antibodies in his blood, that's what made him immune.

[Bridge]

SPOCK: I presume, Doctor, that you have a supply of live Saurian virus antibodies in your laboratory?

[Sickbay]

(McCoy gives the patients an injection, and their skin colour returns to normal. They are soon up and about again)
KIRK: Bones, you did it!
KOL-TAI: Again.
DEMOS: Thank you, Doctor.

Captain's log, stardate 5276.8. Preparing to beam aboard the Enterprise, following the Dramian ceremonies honouring Doctor Leonard McCoy for his significant achievements in the field of interstellar medicine.

[Dramia]

DRAMIAN: We of Dramia wish to thank you, Doctor, for your discovery of the antidote which frees us from future attacks of the auroral plague.
MCCOY: Thank Mister Spock too. And Captain Kirk.
DRAMIAN: We will even forget about the unorthodox manner of your release, Doctor.
KIRK: And we'll forget about a certain stowaway.
DEMOS: We must apologise.
MCCOY: I think it's time we got aboard ship, isn't it, Jim?
KIRK: Beam us aboard, Mister Scott.
SCOTT: Aye, aye, Captain.

[Transporter room]

KIRK: Gentlemen, I don't know about you, but I'm ready to get back to Starbase.
SCOTT: Yes, sir.
MCCOY: And I'm ready to get back to some of that monotonous, old, routine Sickbay work.
SPOCK: Including, I would hope, some of that monotonous, old dispensing of the regular vitamin rations to the crew.
MCCOY: What is that supposed to mean?
SPOCK: Well, you have been derelict in your duties of late, Doctor.
MCCOY: Spock, you know as well as I do what we've all just been through.
SPOCK: Hippocrates would not have approved of lame excuses, Doctor.
MCCOY: Why, that, that. Jim, if I'm ever in jail again, don't send that Vulcan to release me. Just let me rot.

 HISTORY

2024-09-26 20:49:01 - Pike: Review modified.
2024-09-26 20:48:14 - Pike: New quote added.
2024-09-26 20:38:07 - Pike: New quote added.
2024-09-26 20:26:38 - Pike: New quote added.
2024-09-21 14:46:08 - Pike: Added the writer.
2024-09-21 14:15:59 - Pike: Added the director.
2024-09-15 12:19:13 - Pike: Added a banner.


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