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April 30, 1990
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45 minutes
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SUMMARY
Stardate: 43807.4. A nervous and insecure officer, Lt. Reginald Barclay, places the Enterprise in great danger when he neglects his duties in Engineering, and instead spends his time acting out his fantasies on the holodeck.
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REVIEWS
The original trekkie
Written by
kimmy on 2018-05-09
★
★
★
A really introvert Enterprise engineer cannot deal with real-world issues and finds refuge in the holodeck, where he let his fantasies with the crew's females run wild (and play the Three Musketeers with the males): one could say this is the 24th's century equivalent of a geek/otaku/... According to interviews, if this was a joke at the expense of a certain type of very introverted Trekkies then it was not conscious on the writers' behalf (but then would they really say so if it were?). So much television has happened since TNG aired that it is hard to say to what extent what we see was original at the time it aired; see the latest season of Black Mirror for a dark twist on the exact same pitch (what's more, in that series' tribute to Star Trek TOS!). Like all TNG episodes, it is well-made, well-acted and enjoyable. What stands out is Geordi's and the crew's refusal to just dismiss or fire the officer that does not live up to their standards, something that would be understandable in most of today's fiction and the real world. In the 24th century utopia, people work on their issues, try to resolve them and become better persons in the process. That is justification enough to make this episode required viewing for today's cynical viewers (or prospective company managers).
The quote:
Picard: "I'm just not accustomed to seeing an unsatisfactory rating on a member of my crew."
TRANSCRIPT
[Ten Forward]
(Deanna slinks in wearing an off the shoulder number, as Howling Mad Murdoch pours himself a slug from a bottle on the bar)
GUINAN: I don't want any trouble here, Barclay.
BARCLAY: Trouble? Why would there be trouble?
GUINAN: Because wherever you go, trouble follows.
LAFORGE: Lieutenant Barclay, you're on duty.
BARCLAY: Is that a fact?
LAFORGE: It is, and you'll observe it. So get back to your post.
BARCLAY: Look, pal, why don't you do me a favour. Take yourself and your holier than thou attitude and get out of my life.
(He pushes Geordi away, sending him tumbling over a chair)
RIKER: This is insubordination, Mister Barclay.
BARCLAY: (drinking) Here's to insubordination.
(Then he gets Riker in an arm and neck lock)
BARCLAY: Riker, you're nothing but a pretty mannequin in a fancy uniform. You're full of hot air. If Picard has a problem with me, you can tell him to come and talk to me himself.
(Geordi leaves, fast, as Barclay swaggers over to Troi)
TROI: I feel your confidence, your arrogant resolve. It excites me.
CREWMAN [OC]: Lieutenant Barclay, report to Cargo bay five. Now.
BARCLAY: It'll have to wait till later, darling.
TROI: Oh.
BARCLAY: Be right there. Save programme.
[Cargo bay]
LAFORGE: I just don't know what to do with him. The guy's always late, he never gives his best effort, just slides by. I'm telling you, I can't deal with it anymore. I mean, how does a guy like that make it through the Academy?
RIKER: I think it's time we talked to the Captain about Broccoli. That's what Wesley calls him. Keep it to yourself.
LAFORGE: It fits.
(An engineer is checking some containers on a pallet)
DUFFY: Commander. A broken seal.
LAFORGE: You'd better destroy it. Those samples'll be tainted.
(Barclay enters and tries to hide behind some boxes)
LAFORGE: Hey! Is it a problem for you to report to duty on time, Lieutenant?
BARCLAY: (stuttering) No. No, sir. I'm, I'm very sorry, sir. It's just I had a very important communiqué which required my immediate response and
LAFORGE: I don't want to hear it. Now, we're having an intermittent problem with this anti-grav unit. I want you to see what you can do.
RIKER: Mister Barclay, I'm tired of seeing your name on report. I don't know what you got away with at your last posting, but this is the Enterprise. We set a different standard here. Understood?
BARCLAY: Understood, sir.
Captain's log, Stardate 43807.4. We are taking on a load of special tissue samples donated by the Mikulaks for shipment to Nahmi Four. The samples could prove vital to the containment of an outbreak of Correllium Fever on that world.
[Cargo bay]
BARCLAY: Everything looks it looks normal to me.
LAFORGE: Computer, activate anti-grav unit.
(It rises smoothly, then starts to wobble, throwing a canister off, before returning to the ground)
O'BRIEN: Damn it.
BARCLAY: I, I don't understand.
LAFORGE: La Forge to Engineering. I'll need more people in Cargo Bay Five. Anyone you can spare. La Forge out. We could use a hand, Mister Barclay.
BARCLAY: I'll disassemble it later, Commander. It shouldn't do that. Well, I mean, of course, it shouldn't do that. Well, I mean, it shouldn't do that.
[Ready room]
PICARD: I'm not accustomed to seeing an unsatisfactory rating for one of my crew.
RIKER: I guess the issue is whether Mister Barclay is Enterprise material.
PICARD: I assume from your request for his transfer that you think he's not, Commander.
LAFORGE: I hate to say it but, I always thought I could work with anybody. But I just don't understand this guy. Broccoli makes me nervous, Captain. He makes everybody nervous.
PICARD: Broccoli?
RIKER: Young Mister Crusher started that. I guess it's caught on.
PICARD: Let's just get that uncaught, shall we? There's every indication he's served competently in Starfleet for years. His ratings aboard the Zhukov were satisfactory. In fact I recall Captain Gleason speaking quite highly of him before his transfer.
RIKER: In retrospect, I wonder if Captain Gleason wasn't buttering our bread a little. He knew we were looking for a diagnostic engineer. I've examined Barclay's psychological profile. He's a history of seclusive tendencies. It was noted at the Academy more than once.
PICARD: And yet he chose this way of life. He has made the same commitment to Starfleet that we all have. It's easy to transfer a problem to someone else. Too easy.
LAFORGE: Captain, it's not like I haven't tried.
PICARD: Try harder, Geordi. He's a member of your team. Try to find some way to help him to make a positive contribution. Get to know the man better. Make him your best friend.
LAFORGE: With all respect, sir, my best friend? I can barely tolerate being in the same room with the man.
PICARD: Then I suggest you put your personal discomfort on one side, Commander. Dismissed.
LAFORGE: Yes, sir.
[Cargo bay]
(Barclay is cross-legged on the floor, examining the components of the anti-grav sled)
LAFORGE: Hey, Reg. How, er, how's it going?
BARCLAY: Oh, it's, er, I still haven't traced down the problem, Commander.
LAFORGE: That's all right. There's no problem.
BARCLAY: I've been planning to run diagnostics on the graviton invertor circuits.
LAFORGE: Smart plan. I'd say we're in good hands here.
BARCLAY: I'll see you get a preliminary report.
LAFORGE: Whenever.
BARCLAY: Before the end of the day.
LAFORGE: Fine. Say, Reg, how about sitting in on the mission briefing with my senior officers in the morning?
BARCLAY: The briefing? Me?
LAFORGE: I'd like your input.
BARCLAY: What on? Do, do, do you want me to prepare a
LAFORGE: No, no, just be there. Eight hundred hours.
BARCLAY: I'll be on time, sir.
LAFORGE: Good. Good. Carry on.
[Engineering]
LAFORGE: Morning. Start your brains, gentlemen, and let's do it. Has anybody seen Lieutenant Barclay?
DUFFY: Not yet, sir.
LAFORGE: Okay.
(Barclay arrives)
LAFORGE: Okay. This trip to Nahmi Four is pretty routine, so we'll have plenty of time to realign the magnetic capacitors on both the matter and anti-matter injectors. Duffy, Costa, that'll be your assignment.
DUFFY: We probably ought to do the flow regulator maintenance at the same time, Commander.
LAFORGE: That's a good idea. Ensign Crusher will putting in some hours with us this week as part of his training duties, so I'll be assigning him to assist you, Mister Myers. Be sure and teach him the difference between impulse and warp drive, please. Lieutenant Barclay has working on the mystery of the anti-grav failure we had yesterday. Your preliminary report had a couple of interesting theories, Reg. Why don't you bring us all up to speed on your findings so far.
BARCLAY: Yes. It wasn't a maintenance problem. Everything checked out. I, I'm going to check for a surge in the transfer coils.
WESLEY: A coil surge wouldn't have resulted in field dissipation.
BARCLAY: I, I, I realise that
LAFORGE: But we shouldn't ignore the possibilities, Wes.
WESLEY: You ought to check the flow capacitor. A breakdown of that could have caused a chain collapse of the antigrav fields.
BARCLAY: I, I was going to.
LAFORGE: Good. Okay, then let's go over the realignment procedure. Gentlemen.
[Troi's office]
BARCLAY: I just didn't know what to say.
TROI: What do you wish you had said?
BARCLAY: I should have told him to mind his own damned business. I knew about the flux capacitor. I didn't need to hear about it from some seventeen year old kid.
TROI: You're letting it get you much too upset.
BARCLAY: You think so?
TROI: Why are you so hard on yourself?
BARCLAY: You don't know. It's hard out there.
TROI: I understand, but let go of it. You're here now.
BARCLAY: You're right, of course.
TROI: Of course. Let me help you relax.
(She starts massaging his shoulders)
BARCLAY: I'd like that.
TROI: I knew you would.
(They kiss)
BARCLAY: That's nice, but I'm in the mood for someplace a little more unusual. Computer. Run Barclay programme fifteen.
(And the office transforms into)
[Holodeck - Glade]
(Deanna is in Grecian robes)
TROI: I am the goddess of Empathy. Cast off your inhibitions and embrace love, truth, joy.
(Barclay embraces her, passionately)
[Ten Forward]
WESLEY: But I thought that's the point of the briefing. To discuss different approaches.
LAFORGE: It's not that you did anything wrong, Wes. It's just that Barclay's, well, he's my new project.
DUFFY: Yeah, Broccoli's a real project all right.
LAFORGE: I just need to draw him out some more.
WESLEY: And I shut him down. Poor Broccoli.
DATA: Pardon me, but why is Lieutenant Barclay being referred to clandestinely as a vegetable?
WESLEY: It's a joke, Data. You know, a nickname.
DATA: Nicknames generally denote fondness, a diminutive shared between friends.
LAFORGE: Data's absolutely right. The nickname stops here and now. Captain's orders.
(Duffy picks up his glass, which has an impression of his fingers on it and promptly leaks from the bottom)
DUFFY: What the hell?
WESLEY: What happened to your glass?
(Data's glass is the same)
[Engineering]
DATA: Nucleosynthesis. The structure of the glass has been altered at the atomic level.
LAFORGE: A problem with the replicator?
DATA: Unlikely. A problem with the replicator would have affected the contents as well as the glass. But the liquid in the glass was a synthehol replication of a light ale of Earth origin, which is, I believe what Lieutenant Duffy ordered.
LAFORGE: I can't detect any residual radiation or unusual chemical compounds that would have caused this.
DATA: The most probable explanation is that the glass came into contact with an unshielded power source.
LAFORGE: That means a complete diagnostic check of the Enterprise power systems. All four thousand of them. Do I have the perfect man for this job. Hey, Reg. Busy?
BARCLAY: Well, I was just. No, not really. Why?
LAFORGE: I've got another mystery for you. Somehow the molecular structure of this cup from Ten Forward has been altered. We need to run through the power systems to see if there's a leak that caused this.
BARCLAY: I had, I was going to do that.
LAFORGE: You were?
BARCLAY: Yes. To, to try to explain the anti-grav unit failure. I still can't. Nothing about it makes sense.
DATA: Then it is possible these two very disparate incidents could be related.
[Bridge]
(Geordi is at a rear station, showing Riker the glass)
LAFORGE: I wouldn't bother you with something this minor, Commander, but it may be a symptom of a more serious problem.
RIKER: Do you think we'll need to put in to a starbase?
LAFORGE: We'll have a better idea after Mister Barclay runs a check on the power systems.
DATA: It was Lieutenant Barclay who first suggested a link between the two incidents.
BARCLAY: What? No, it wasn't. I mean, not really.
PICARD: Will your investigation affect our available power during the mission?
BARCLAY: No, No, sir. We'll have to shut off some systems. We'll shut them down a few at a time. It shouldn't. I don't think so.
PICARD: Good. I look forward to your report, Mister Broccoli. (big silence) Barclay.
BARCLAY: If you will excuse me.
(Barclay leaves)
DATA: Metathesis is one of the most common of pronunciation errors, sir. A reversal of vowel and consonant, Barc to Broc.
(Suddenly Data becomes fascinated by something on a control panel)
[Ten Forward]
GUINAN: Yes, I know him comes in. He stands at the bar. He doesn't say much. He orders a warm milk.
LAFORGE: Figures.
GUINAN: Warm milk helps you sleep, La Forge. You should try it. What's this have to do with Barclay?
LAFORGE: I don't know. I'm just trying to figure the man out. Do you ever talk to him?
GUINAN: He doesn't talk much.
LAFORGE: Does he have any friends?
GUINAN: Not that I've seen.
LAFORGE: What do you do with a guy like that?
GUINAN: Well, I just serve him warm milk and let him be.
LAFORGE: Yeah, well, I'm not so lucky. I can't let him be. He's my problem.
GUINAN: Well, he's imaginative.
LAFORGE: How do you know that?
GUINAN: I know.
LAFORGE: Well, then maybe he's in the wrong line of work.
GUINAN: You engineering types don't appreciate imagination?
LAFORGE: That's not it, Guinan. He just doesn't fit in here.
GUINAN: Terkim.
LAFORGE: What?
GUINAN: Reminds me of Terkim. My mother's brother. Sort of the family misfit. Everybody told me to stay away from him. Bad influence.
LAFORGE: Did you?
GUINAN: Are you kidding? He was the only member of the family who had a sense of humour. Except no one ever stayed around him long enough to realize it but me. My mother tells me I remind her of him, and I probably do. The idea of fitting in just repels me.
LAFORGE: Maybe I'm not make myself clear, Guinan. Barclay, well, he's always late. The man's nervous. Nobody wants to be around this guy.
GUINAN: If I felt that nobody wanted to be around me, I'd probably be late and nervous too.
LAFORGE: Guinan, that's not the point.
GUINAN: Are you sure? Excuse me.
LAFORGE: Computer, where is Lieutenant Barclay?
[Holodeck - Glade]
LAFORGE: Reg?
(He comes upon a Gainsborough tableau - Beverly on a floral swing and Wesley in blue, eating cake. There's a white parakeet in a cane cage too)
LAFORGE: Beverly?
CRUSHER: Good morning, my lord. Manners, my son. Manners. You embarrass me before our guest. Master Barclay will spank you if you misbehave.
LAFORGE: Wesley ?
WESLEY: What do you want?
LAFORGE: Well, I guess I want Master Barclay.
CRUSHER: The boys got into another little scrap, I'm afraid. But boys will be boys.
(A swordfight enters, with much clashing of swords. three musketeers versus Barclay)
LAFORGE: You cannot withstand our assault forever, Barclay.
DATA: You are outnumbered, Mister Barclay. Say you will yield and it ends here.
BARCLAY: I will speak with my sword, sir.
PICARD: In God's name, where did you learn to fight like this, man?
BARCLAY: Self taught, my capitaine. Shall I give you a few lessons?
(Naturally, Barclay is completely victorious)
PICARD: Who is that? One of your allies?
BARCLAY: Jean-Luc. Not that old trick. I'm very disappointed in you.
(Geordi coughs, Reg turns, and the bottom falls out of his world)
[Ten Forward]
BARCLAY: I'll make it easy for you, Commander. I'll request reassignment.
LAFORGE: Now, wait a minute.
BARCLAY: Look, we both know, the whole ship knows, I just can't cut it here.
LAFORGE: Hey, Barclay, I've spent a few hours on the holodeck too, you know. Now, as far as I'm concerned what you do in the holodeck is your own business, as long as it doesn't interfere with your work.
BARCLAY: You're, you're not going to tell anyone about this?
LAFORGE: I don't think everybody would appreciate your imagination like I do. It is kind of unusual, recreating people you already know.
BARCLAY: well, it was just. I needed to blow off some steam because one, one of the officers had been getting on my back.
LAFORGE: Let me guess.
BARCLAY: It was you, and I just couldn't tell you what I wanted to tell you to your face, so it just sort of got out of control.
LAFORGE: I don't know. There's a part of this that's kind of therapeutic. Maybe you ought to talk to Counsellor Troi about it.
BARCLAY: It's, it's, I, when I'm in there I'm just more comfortable. You don't know what a struggle this has been for me, Commander.
LAFORGE: I'd like to help, if I can.
BARCLAY: Being afraid all the time, of forgetting somebody's name, not knowing what to do with your hands. I mean, I'm the guy who writes down things to remember to say when there's a party. And then when he finally get there, he winds up alone in the corner trying to look comfortable examining a potted plant.
LAFORGE: You're just shy, Barclay.
BARCLAY: Just shy. Sounds like nothing serious, doesn't it? You can't know.
O'BRIEN [OC]: O'Brien to La Forge.
LAFORGE: Go ahead.
[Transporter room]
O'BRIEN: I need you in transporter room three, Commander.
[Ten Forward]
LAFORGE: On my way, Chief. Listen, Reg. I really do want you to talk to Counselor Troi.
BARCLAY: Troi? No, no, no, no, no. I couldn't.
LAFORGE: I mean it. As your friend and as your commanding officer.
[Transporter room]
O'BRIEN: I was synchronising the phase transition coils, I didn't do anything I haven't done a hundred times before. The test object is made of pure duranium.
LAFORGE: Seems normal enough to me.
O'BRIEN: Watch this.
(He beams the test cylinder from one side of the pads to the other and back again. It ends up in two pieces, and steaming gently)
LAFORGE: I'm glad I don't have anywhere to go.
Chief Engineer's log, stardate 43808.2. A systems analysis of transporter room three has yielded no suggestion of a cause for the latest malfunction aboard the Enterprise.
[Transporter room]
PICARD: Is this part of the same pattern?
LAFORGE: We don't know, sir. And we don't know why only transporter room three is affected. None of the other transporter rooms are malfunctioning.
RIKER: Yet.
PICARD: We reach Nahmi Four in twenty two hours. We'll want all transporters operational by then. I want a level one diagnostic across the board.
RIKER: Advise Mister Barclay to join us on the Bridge immediately.
LAFORGE: Could we make that fourteen hundred hours, sir? I've got him working on something.
RIKER: Fourteen hundred hours. Mister O'Brien, no maintenance on the transporters until further notice.
O'BRIEN: Aye, sir.
[Troi's office]
TROI: I know this is difficult for you. Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?
BARCLAY: No.
TROI: Have you ever been with a counsellor before?
BARCLAY: Yes. No.
TROI: Which one?
BARCLAY: Yes, but she, it wasn't. It wasn't really a counsellor.
TROI: Most people find a counsellor intimidating at first. It's okay if you feel that way toward me.
BARCLAY: Not at all.
TROI: Good. Now, lean back, close your eyes.
BARCLAY: Why?
TROI: I want to make you more comfortable.
BARCLAY: You do?
TROI: Yes.
(She dims the lights slightly and sits next to him)
TROI: It's okay. Close your eyes.
BARCLAY: What are you going to do?
TROI: Just listen to the sound of my voice. Take a slow deep breath in through your nose and let it out through your mouth just as slowly. That's better, isn't it?
BARCLAY: Much better. Oh, yes. Oh, yes, that's, that's much better. That is extremely helpful. Thank you for your time.
TROI: But
BARCLAY: Really. That's very helpful. In through the nose, out through the mouth. I'm going to practise that and I'll let you know. Thank you again.
(And he beats a rapid retreat)
[Bridge]
TROI: I had a very strange visit from one of your officers today.
LAFORGE: Barclay? Yes, I can imagine. Were you able to do anything for him?
TROI: To be honest, I'm not sure what happened.
RIKER: Where is Mister Barclay? It's past fourteen hundred hours.
LAFORGE: Lieutenant Barclay, report to the Bridge. Lieutenant Barclay, report.
RIKER: Computer. Locate Lieutenant Barclay.
COMPUTER: Lieutenant Barclay is in holodeck two.
LAFORGE: I'll get him.
RIKER: No, I'll handle this. I've had it with him.
LAFORGE: Counsellor, you'd better come along.
[Corridor]
LAFORGE: I think you should know Barclay's been running some unique programs.
RIKER: I don't care what he's been running. I just ran out of patience.
[Holodeck - Glade]
(They find the three musketeers and the blue boy by the folly)
LAFORGE: Like I said, Commander, Barclay's been running some unusual programs.
RIKER: This is a violation of protocol. Crewmembers should not be simulated in the holodeck.
LAFORGE: Commander I don't think there's any regulation against
RIKER: Well there ought to be. Computer, discontinue programme and erase.
TROI: Computer, belay that order.
RIKER: Counsellor?
TROI: If Barclay is having difficulty facing reality, to suddenly destroy his only means of escape would be brutal and could do considerable damage.
HOLO-PICARD: They are quite disagreeable, aren't they? Shall we have at them?
HOLO-DATA: Delighted.
HOLO-LAFORGE: We shall thrash them.
HOLO-PICARD: En garde.
RIKER: Stop it. Put that down.
HOLO-DATA: Your sword, sir.
RIKER: I don't have a sword.
HOLO-LAFORGE: How do expect to fight without your sword, sir?
RIKER: I don't expect to fight.
HOLO-PICARD: Ha! Do I detect a streak of yellow along the good fellow's back? Perhaps we can supply a more appropriate adversary for him. Number One!
WESLEY: Number One!
HOLO-RIKER: Here I come.
(Enter a much reduced version of Riker)
HOLO-RIKER: Am I late? Did I miss the fight? En garde! You, sir, you have a familiar bearing. Is it possible our swords have crossed somewhere before?
RIKER: Where is he? Where's Barclay?
HOLO-RIKER: Ah, a personal grudge. I warn you. It would be wise for you to put your affairs in final order before you meet him in combat. You challenge the greatest sword in all the holodeck.
RIKER: You think this is funny?
TROI: You are very tall. It might be threatening to some people.
RIKER: Mister Barclay will find out what it means to be threatened. Computer, discontinue image of Riker.
HOLO-PICARD: Sir, you have no sense of fair play.
LAFORGE: Just tell us where to find Barclay.
(The musketeers sit down instead)
RIKER: You want us to search through all this to find him?
TROI: It could provide us with valuable information about what's troubling him. You know, there's nothing wrong with a healthy fantasy life, as long as you don't let it take over.
RIKER: You call this healthy?
TROI: You're taking it so seriously. It's not without its element of humour.
HOLO-TROI: I am the goddess of Empathy. Cast off your inhibitions and embrace love, truth, joy.
LAFORGE: Oh, my God.
HOLO-TROI: Discard your facades and reveal your true being to me.
TROI: Computer, discontinue.
RIKER: Computer, belay that order! We want to get more insight into what's been troubling the poor man, remember? Quite a healthy fantasy life, wouldn't you say?
(Geordi agrees)
[Bridge]
PICARD: Report.
WORF: Sir, our velocity increased to warp seven point two five.
DATA: Compensating, sir.
WORF: Confirmed. Velocity now warp seven.
PICARD: Maintain that. What the hell happened?
DATA: The matter-antimatter injectors locked for a split second. I am not certain why, sir. They appear to be working properly now.
PICARD: Picard to La Forge.
LAFORGE [OC]: Go ahead, Captain.
PICARD: Commander, any explanation for this injector problem?
[Holodeck - Glade]
LAFORGE: Well, I'm not in Engineering, sir. I'm in holodeck two.
PICARD [OC]: Another malfunction?
LAFORGE: Not exactly, but I'll return to Engineering immediately, sir.
[Bridge]
PICARD: Yes, I should say you should, Commander. Your holodeck activities can wait until later. And Commander.
LAFORGE [OC]: Yes, sir?
PICARD: It would be wise to consult Lieutenant Barclay
[Holodeck - Glade]
PICARD [OC]: On this latest incident.
LAFORGE: I'd like to very much, Captain. La Forge out. We need to find Barclay now.
HOLO-TROI: Cast aside your masks and let me slip into your minds.
TROI: Muzzle it.
(they walk on and find Reg sleeping in the lap of Gainsborough Beverly)
CRUSHER: Shh!
[Corridor]
TROI: We have a lot to talk about, Mister Barclay.
LAFORGE: Commander, Barclay and I had better get to Engineering.
RIKER: Dismissed.
(further along)
BARCLAY: I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I'd worked twelve hours on the power systems and then, then the transporter went down.
LAFORGE: Reg, you had a chance to get some help from the real Counsellor Troi but instead you went back in there.
BARCLAY: I know. I didn't want to. I just couldn't help myself.
LAFORGE: You're going to be able to write the book on holodiction. Look, I know how easy it is to get caught up in it. I fell in love in there once.
BARCLAY: Really?
LAFORGE: But I knew when it was time to turn it off and say goodbye. It wasn't easy, but I did it.
BARCLAY: You know, the people I create in there are more real to me than anyone I meet out here, except maybe you, Commander.
LAFORGE: I need you out here, Reg. Now more than ever.
[Engineering]
LAFORGE: The injectors aren't responding to the diagnostic commands.
BARCLAY: I think we should drop out of warp.
LAFORGE: La Forge to Bridge.
[Bridge]
PICARD: Go ahead, Commander.
LAFORGE [OC]: Recommend we go to impulse power, Captain.
PICARD: Take us out of warp.
DATA: Controls are not responding, sir.
[Engineering]
BARCLAY: It's the injectors.
LAFORGE: Override.
BARCLAY: It's not a computer problem. The mechanism is physically jammed. I can't clear it.
[Bridge]
DATA: Speed increasing, sir. Warp seven point six, seven point six five. Warp seven point seven.
[Engineering]
LAFORGE: We can't shut it down, Captain. Antimatter flow is increasing. She's accelerating out of control.
[Bridge]
LAFORGE [OC]: There's nothing I can do.
WORF: Approaching warp nine sir.
PICARD: Red alert.
RIKER: Estimated time to structural failure.
DATA: At this rate of acceleration, fifteen minutes forty seconds, sir.
RIKER: Did you copy that, Geordi?
LAFORGE [OC]: Aye, Commander.
RIKER: Recommendations.
[Engineering]
LAFORGE: I'll let you know as soon as we have some. La Forge out. Okay, this ship is going to start tearing itself apart in fifteen minutes. I want every idea on the table. I don't care how outrageous.
DUFFY: What about attempting a magnetic quench on the fusion pre-burners?
LAFORGE: No, I already tried that. The magnetic fields won't reset.
WESLEY: Could the fuel inlet servos be caught in cycle?
LAFORGE: If they were, the swirl dampers would be frozen too and they aren't.
DUFFY: Nothing showed up in the diagnostic sweep at all?
BARCLAY: The tests showed there were problems, I mean no problems with the flow, the flow of the.
LAFORGE: There's nothing wrong with the computer control protocols or the power transfer systems. As far as we can determine, the injectors are just physically jammed.
DUFFY: Injectors freeze, anti-grav unit goes down, and transporter malfunctions.
WESLEY: And a twisted glass.
LAFORGE: What's the connection?
[Bridge]
WORF: Exceeding warp nine point four.
PICARD: Begin evacuation of secondary hull. Prepare for emergency saucer separation.
WORF: Standing by to release docking clamps.
RIKER: Reroute systems to primary hull power sources.
DATA: The plasma flow to the nacelles is uneven due to injector lock. An emergency saucer separation could rupture the warp field.
(The ship shakes under the stress)
DATA: Twelve minutes to structural failure, sir.
[Engineering]
LAFORGE: None of the systems involved interact directly with each other. I don't see anything in common.
BARCLAY: What if, what if, what if one of us is the connection?
DUFFY: Us? How?
BARCLAY: I don't know, but we're looking for a systemic explanation and there isn't one. We work with all the systems that are affected. What if we're transmitting something ourselves by touching it, or something.
WESLEY: The computer sensors would've picked up anything dangerous.
BARCLAY: But if it were something, something that we couldn't scan, you might've passed it to the injectors when you were realigning the magnetic capacitors.
LAFORGE: It was your glass, Duffy and both of you were present in the cargo bay when the anti-grav failed.
DUFFY: So was O'Brien.
WESLEY: The transporter malfunction. That's a connection too.
COMPUTER: Danger. Approaching safety limits of engine containment field.
LAFORGE: Computer, list all physical substances that wouldn't normally be picked up by an internal scan.
COMPUTER: There are fifteen thousand five hundred twenty five known substances that cannot be detected by standard scans.
LAFORGE: Great. And how many of those can exist in an oxygen atmosphere?
COMPUTER: Five hundred thirty two.
LAFORGE: And could alter molecular structure when it comes in contact with glass.
COMPUTER: Five.
LAFORGE: On screen at this station. Duffy.
BARCLAY: Jakmanite has a half life of fifteen seconds. There wouldn't be enough time to spread it around the ship.
LAFORGE: Right.
WESLEY: Selgninaem and lucovexitrin are highly toxic.
LAFORGE: Yeah, we'd all be dead by now. That leaves saltzgadum and invidium, neither of which has been used for decades.
WESLEY: Could either one of them cause all these malfunctions?
DUFFY: Most of the affected systems weren't even invented when those substances were in use. Who knows what could happen with a transporter or a magnetic capacitor?
LAFORGE: Wait a minute, wasn't invidium used in medical containment fields?
WESLEY: Not for over a century.
BARCLAY: The Mikulaks might still be using it.
DUFFY: And one of those canisters was broken.
LAFORGE: La Forge to Bridge. We have a working theory, Captain. There's a good possibility we picked up some Invidium from a broken canister in the cargo bay
[Bridge]
LAFORGE [OC]: And have been spreading it around the ship.
RIKER: Working theories are fine, Geordi.
[Corridor]
RIKER [OC]: But we need a working solution in about five minutes.
LAFORGE: Understood, Commander. We're on our way to cargo bay five for confirmation.
[Cargo bay]
LAFORGE: Nothing on the tricorder.
COMPUTER: Danger. Exceeding safety limits of engine containment field. At current acceleration, structural failure will occur in three minutes thirty seconds.
LAFORGE: If it's in there it should show up on one of the polarity channels.
(Barclay puts his gloved hand into a container. They detect sparkles on it)
BARCLAY: There it is.
LAFORGE: Duffy and O'Brien picked up the broken canister and became contaminated.
BARCLAY: If we can get it, the invidium, down to minus two hundred degrees Celsius, it'll become inert.
LAFORGE: La Forge to Bridge. Invidium has been confirmed.
[Bridge]
LAFORGE [OC]: Recommend we flood the injector pathway conduit with gaseous cryonetrium. That ought to neutralise it.
PICARD: The question is, will the injectors come back online?
LAFORGE [OC]: They sustained considerable damage, Captain. I can't guarantee that we'll be able to regain control.
RIKER: We don't have much choice, do we?
LAFORGE [OC]: No, sir.
PICARD: Make it so.
[Engineering]
DUFFY: Route primary coupling through starboard transfer conduit.
WESLEY: Routing. Ready for engine core injection.
COMPUTER: At current acceleration, structural failure will occur in forty five seconds.
[Bridge]
DATA: Injector conduit temperature minus one hundred degrees Celsius.
PICARD: Transfer injector control to manual.
DATA: Ready, sir. Temperature now minus one hundred ninety degrees. Minus two hundred degrees, sir.
RIKER: Injector status?
DATA: Matter injector is online. Antimatter injector still locked.
COMPUTER: At current acceleration, structural failure will occur in thirty seconds.
PICARD: Cycle power through ventral relay.
DATA: Antimatter injector online. Reducing flow capacity. Commencing warp engine shut down, sir.
PICARD: Stand down from red alert.
RIKER: Nice work, Geordi.
[Cargo bay]
LAFORGE: Mister Barclay and I thank you, sir.
RIKER [OC]: Acknowledged.
LAFORGE: The ship has been seriously contaminated with invidium, sir. Recommend we set course for Starbase one two one for a complete systems and bio-decontamination.
PICARD [OC]: Understood. Picard out.
LAFORGE: Glad you were with us out here in the real world today, Mister Barclay.
[Bridge]
(Reg walks in and stands in front of the viewscreen)
BARCLAY: It has been most difficult to reach this decision to leave you, but after thinking about it and discussing it at length with Counsellor Troi, I think it's for the best. I just wanted to thank you all for your support.
LAFORGE: You'll always be welcome here, Reg.
BARCLAY: I know. That's why it's so difficult to leave.
PICARD: It was a pleasure to serve with you, Mister Barclay.
TROI: Good luck, Reg.
BARCLAY: It's been fun. Computer, end programme.
(And the Bridge is replaced by the holodeck grid)
BARCLAY: Erase all programs filed under Reginald Barclay. (turns to leave) Except programme nine.
2024-09-11 10:18:22 -
Pike:
Added the transcript.
