DIRECTED BY
AIRED ON
March 21, 1993
RUNTIME
45 minutes
STARRING
VIEWS
215
LAST UPDATE
2024-09-12 01:38:50
PAGE VERSION
Version 2
LIKES
0
DISLIKES
0
SUMMARY
Stardate: Unknown. The Ferengi's greatest politician and leader, the Grand Nagus, comes to the station. He seems very interested in Quark's bar.
STORY
No story yet.
BEHIND THE SCENES
No trivia yet.
QUOTES
FILMING LOCATIONS
TOPICS
No topics yet.
REVIEWS
Evil Morty for the win !
Written by
Gruic on 2018-03-07
★
★
★
★
First appearance of fans favourite Evil Morty and his outstanding theme song. It is in fact Blonde Redhead, For the Damaged Coda.
We can also heard the music Jerry's Rick after the credits, another great theme.
A strong mythologic episode reintroducing the destructive nihilism of Rick and the question of identity in a multiverse. It introduce perfectly great episodes of season 2 and 3.
___________________________________________
A mythology show!?
Written by
Pike on 2018-03-09
★
★
★
★
A MYTHOLOGY SHOW?!
I clearly did not expect to witness a mythology show when watching the first episodes of Rick and Morty. The episodes 1, 3, 4 and 5 did not impress me.
And then, suddenly, the episode Rick Potion #9 started to put in place the foundations of a mythology. A mythology that becomes very ambitious in Close Rick-counters of the Rick Kind.
In a way, I am back in my first love in series, such as Quantum Leap. I loved fresh and sunny stories with fun mythology twists.
THE MORTYEST OF MORTY
This episode is exactly that, with the introduction of the mortyest of Morty, the Evil Morty. I just instantly loved the character and just hope that we’ll see more of him in the future.
SUMMARY
Clearly, the best episode of the season. I give it 7 out of 10.
TRANSCRIPT
[Airlock]
(A furtive looking Ferengi checks that all is clear, then a caped figure with a cane decorated with a Ferengi head comes out, supported by a tall alien.)
[Jake's room]
(Jakes is picking up PADDs.)
JAKE: Shoes.
(They're under the bed)
SISKO: Jake, I've got a terrific surprise for you.
JAKE: Oh yeah, what is it?
SISKO: The two of us are going to Bajor for the start of the Gratitude Festival.
JAKE: What's the Gratitude Festival?
SISKO: It's the biggest Bajoran holiday of the year. Major Kira says it's pretty spectacular. And I figured, while we were on the surface, we could visit those fire caverns you've been wanting to see.
JAKE: Sounds great. When do we leave?
SISKO: This afternoon, right after school.
JAKE: For how long?
SISKO: Three days.
JAKE: Three days!
[Sisko's quarters]
JAKE: Computer, orange juice. Dad, do I have to go?
SISKO: Well, no, not if you don't want to.
JAKE: Thanks, Dad. Nog and I kind of have plans for tomorrow.
SISKO: What kind of plans?
JAKE: There's an Andorian freighter due in for a maintenance check tomorrow night.
SISKO: An Andorian freighter?
JAKE: It's supposed to be carrying a shipment of those new anti-grav tractors. We're hoping we'll get a chance to see one.
SISKO: Let me get this straight. You would rather hang around a cargo bay with Nog than visit the Bajoran fire caverns with the old man?
JAKE: Nog's my friend.
[Quark's]
QUARK: (pouring a green drink) No need to thank me, madam. Here at Quark's customer satisfaction is our primary concern. Now, you run along back to the dabo table. Rom, that lady tells me she misplaced a fat currency pouch.
ROM: Yes, brother?
QUARK: And then you found it.
ROM: Yes, brother.
QUARK: And then you returned it to her intact.
ROM: I was dazzled by her beauty.
QUARK: You worthless, tiny eared fool! Don't you know the First Rule of Acquisition?
ROM: Yes, brother.
QUARK: Then say it.
ROM: Once you have their money, you never give it back.
QUARK: Exactly. You can ponder its meaning this evening while polishing every rail in the place. Now get out of my sight before I toss you out the nearest airlock.
(Over at a table, Nog is building a castle with glasses and PADDs.)
ROM: Nog! (crash) Is this what they teach you at that human school of yours? Sloth and indolence?
NOG: No, father.
ROM: We'll see about that. Tonight you'll polish every rail in the place until they sparkle. Is that clear?
NOG: Yes, father. Tonight. Every rail.
(The small figure is making his way slowly down the Promenade)
QUARK: And so the Andorian says. your brother? I thought it was your wife. Get it, wife!
(Morn laughs)
QUARK: Had to think about that one, didn't you?
(The figures have arrived in the bar)
KRAX: I'm looking for Quark.
QUARK: You found him.
KRAX: I am Krax and this is my father, Grand Nagus Zek.
(The cloak hood is pulled back to reveal the most wrinkled, large-lobed, hairy-eared ancient Ferengi ever)
QUARK: (kisses the staff) Tell me, is the Grand Nagus here on business or pleasure?
KRAX: Is there a difference?
QUARK: No, of course not.
KRAX: My father will reveal the purpose of his visit when he sees fit. As for now, he desires the use of a holosuite. He's heard that some of your programmes are quite alluring.
QUARK: Oh, they are. They are. But they may prove a touch energetic for his advanced years.
KRAX: Are you refusing his request?
QUARK: Not at all. Not at all. Is there a particular activity he'd like to sample?
KRAX: The Nagus dislikes having to choose between so many delightful possibilities.
QUARK: In that case, here's a list of five programmes that rank among my personal favourites. I'd be happy to select one for him.
KRAX: That won't be necessary. The Nagus has decided to try all five.
[Schoolroom]
(Chaos and laughter in class)
O'BRIEN: Sorry I'm late. The Transporter in Ops needed a minor adjustment in its upper molecular imaging scanner. but never mind that. All right, let's settle down. Let's settle down! Jake! Nog! Nog!
(Nog finally sits down)
O'BRIEN: Thank you. Now we only have two more weeks to get through before Mrs O'Brien returns from Earth, so that shouldn't be too difficult, right? Right. Let's take out our homework PADDs. We'll begin with the older students. Your last assignment was to write an essay defining the term 'ethics.' Let's start with Nog.
(Who has been trying to disappear under his desk)
NOG: I don't have my essay.
O'BRIEN: Why not?
NOG: My PADD was stolen.
O'BRIEN: Is that a fact? Any idea who stole it?
NOG: It happened in Quark's. I put it on a table and there were some Vulcans nearby
O'BRIEN: Hold on. You're saying Vulcans stole your homework?!
NOG: Yes, sir.
O'BRIEN: Any idea why?
NOG: Because they don't have ethics?
(Giggles around the room)
O'BRIEN: All right, that's enough.
NOG: It's the truth. Ask Jake. He was with me. Go on. Tell him.
JAKE: I guess so.
O'BRIEN: You guess?
JAKE: He, yeah. They took it. I was there.
O'BRIEN: All right, but I want that essay in tomorrow. Is that understood?
NOG: Yes.
O'BRIEN: I hope so.
[Quark's]
(The tall alien stands anxious guard upstairs while cackling comes from inside the holosuite)
QUARK: Did the Nagus happen to mention how long he'd be using the holosuite?
KRAX: The Nagus will be done when he's done.
QUARK: What if he injured himself?
KRAX: My father left specific instructions not to be disturbed. Are you suggesting we disobey him?
QUARK: Forget I ever said anything.
ROM: The Grand Nagus, here under our roof. I've never been so proud.
QUARK: I hope you can live on pride, because that's all we'll have left once he's through with us.
ROM: You think he's here to take over the bar?
QUARK: Why else would he come all this way? To buy me out and for a fraction of what the place is worth.
ROM: You can always refuse to sell.
QUARK: Oh, why didn't I think of that. Idiot, the Nagus doesn't take no for an answer.
KRAX: Quark.
(Zek has come down the stairs)
ZEK: Here. (takes a swig out of a bottle) Good programme.
KRAX: My father requires rest.
QUARK: I would imagine. Please feel free to use my own brother's quarters for as long as you're with us.
KRAX: That should be satisfactory.
QUARK: Now, is there anything else I can do to make your stay a pleasant one?
ZEK: Invite me to dinner.
QUARK: I would be honoured.
[Turbolift]
(The contraption is stuck between levels)
SISKO: Chief, I just heard that airlock nine is jammed again.
O'BRIEN: I'll get a crew on it immediately, Commander. Ensign Jonas?
SISKO: So how's school?
O'BRIEN: We'll muddle through, I imagine. Though I'm counting the days till Keiko gets back.
SISKO: The students giving you a hard time?
O'BRIEN: You know how it is, sir. Kids, there's nothing they like better than to take advantage of a substitute teacher. I always did.
SISKO: I hope Jake's behaving himself.
O'BRIEN: Jake? He's a fine lad, sir. It's just, well.
SISKO: Just what?
O'BRIEN: It's just, if he were my son, I'd find a friend for him other than Nog.
SISKO: I'm afraid that's easier said than done. The two of them have become inseparable.
O'BRIEN: Well, I'd find a way to separate them, sir. That Nog's a bad influence.
SISKO: I appreciate the advice, Chief, but I trust my son. (the turbolift is working again) Besides, if I get between them now, it would become me versus Nog, and I'm not going to force Jake to choose between us.
O'BRIEN: Why not?
SISKO: Because I'd probably lose.
O'BRIEN: I doubt that, sir.
SISKO: That's because your daughter's three. Wait until she's fourteen.
[Quark's quarters]
(The tall alien is testing the food - which is still moving)
ZEK: Are you sure? (The alien nods, and Zek tucks in.) My compliments, Quark. These tube grubs are chilled to perfection.
(Krax turns the lazy susan)
ZEK: Did I say I was finished?
QUARK: Please, help yourself.
ZEK: I saw your cousin Barbo recently.
ROM: Barbo? I thought he was still in that Tarahong detention centre.
ZEK: They finally released him.
QUARK: How fortunate.
ZEK: He told me how the two of you sold those defective warp drives to the Tarahong government. Very clever.
QUARK: It was nothing. The Tarahongians are an incredibly gullible people.
ZEK: He also spoke of how you betrayed him to the authorities and left him to rot behind bars while you kept all the profits.
QUARK: The sixth rule of Acquisition expressly states
ZEK: Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. I certainly never have. You see, I told you he had brains. You've done well for yourself, Quark.
QUARK: Not that well.
ZEK: Never contradict your elders. It's impolite.
QUARK: I suppose I'm doing quite well at that.
ZEK: It was a stroke of brilliance to open a bar so close to a stable wormhole.
KRAX: But he didn't even know the wormhole existed.
ZEK: That's what makes it so impressive. He had the instinct, the ears, to make the smart move before anyone else did. You could learn from his example. Boy! Boy!
(Nog brings over a tray of large toothpicks.)
NOG: Can I go now? I have homework.
ZEK: Did he say homework?
KRAX: There's a Federation school here. Run by a human. A female.
ZEK: And you allow your son to attend such a place.
ROM: Nog, I never want you to step foot in there again. Now go to your room. And no studying. My apologies, Nagus. It's those Federation do-gooders, always sticking their ugly noses in other peoples business.
ZEK: Most distressing.
ROM: Yes, Nagus, most distressing. Yes, yes.
ZEK: Now, speaking of business. Quark, I've come to ask you a favour, and one that would be very important to me. I need your bar.
QUARK: I knew it.
ZEK: And your services as host, for an important conference to be held here tomorrow at nine o'clock sharp.
QUARK: I would consider it a privilege. And the purpose of this conference is?
ZEK: The future. And for Ferengi business interests, the future is already here. And its name is the Gamma Quadrant.
[Ops]
KIRA: Ferengi transport Sepulo has put in at docking bay five.
SISKO: That's the third Ferengi ship to arrive here in the last eighteen hours.
DAX: Maybe it's Quark's birthday.
KIRA: My advice is to lock up the silverware.
SISKO: I don't think we have to go that far. Sisko to Odo.
[Promenade - upper level]
ODO: Go ahead, Commander
SISKO: About all these Ferengi visitors we've been getting
ODO: I'm already on it.
[Quark's]
(The dabo table has been replaced by a long conference table.)
KRAX: No, no, no.
QUARK: Is something wrong?
KRAX: You can't seat Turot next to Hoex. They've been bitter rivals ever since Hoex bought out Turot's controlling interest in the cargo ports on Volchok Prime.
QUARK: Rom! Change these seating arrangements immediately. Quickly, you fool, before I toss you out the nearest airlock.
(Morn appears at the door)
KRAX: I thought you understood this was to be a private meeting.
QUARK: Yes. Go away! We're closed. Go away.
(Quark pushes Morn back and closes the door again)
QUARK: Shoo! Shoo!
GRAL: What's the delay?
KRAX: We await the Grand Nagus.
GRAL: Well, he'd better show his ears soon or I'm leaving.
KRAX: No one leaves until the conference has concluded.
GRAL: Still hiding in your father's shadow.
KRAX: The Nagus casts a very long shadow. Careful you don't disappear in it.
ZEK: I see we're all here.
QUARK: Enough drinks.
NOG: All right, I'm going.
QUARK: Quickly.
ZEK: (to Quark) No, you stay.
QUARK: Me?
(Quark sits at the bar, with his back to proceedings)
ZEK: Gentlemen, be seated.
[Promenade - upper level]
JAKE: Hey, Nog. Where were you this morning?
NOG: I'm through with school.
JAKE: What do you mean, through?
NOG: I mean I don't have to attend those boring classes anymore.
JAKE: Is this your father's idea?
NOG: It's the right decision.
JAKE: Look, if you want I'll talk to Mister O'Brien.
NOG: No. I don't belong there.
JAKE: Don't you want to learn things?
NOG: You mean like ethics?
JAKE: Yeah, and other stuff.
NOG: You don't understand. I'm a Ferengi. For me, school is a waste of time.
JAKE: Why is that?
NOG: Because there's no profit in it.
JAKE: So why are you getting mad at me?
NOG: Because you're a stupid human. I don't know why I bother with you.
JAKE: I'm stupid? You're the one not going to school. See if I care.
[Quark's]
ZEK: And lastly, I would like to salute Nava, whose takeover of the Arcybite mining refineries in the Clarius system is now complete. I congratulate you all. Profits are better than ever. Nevertheless, it is becoming more and more difficult to find truly lucrative business opportunities here in the Alpha Quadrant. And why? Because no matter where we go, our reputation precedes us. A reputation tainted by the lies of our competitors, who maliciously spread the erroneous impression that we are not to be trusted. But now, thanks to the discovery of the wormhole, for the first time we can now avoid such falsehoods. The Gamma Quadrant, gentlemen. Millions of new worlds at our very doorstep. The potential for Ferengi business expansion is staggering.
KRAX: And best of all, no one there has ever heard the name Ferengi.
GRAL: Our reputation will be absolutely stainless.
NAVA: Our word can be our bond.
KRAX: Until we decide to break it.
ZEK: It'll be the good old days all over again.
NAVA: And who shall lead us in this great endeavour?
KRAX: Who else but my father.
GRAL: The Nagus. The Grand Nagus. Yes, yes.
ZEK: I thank you for your confidence, but I must decline the offer.
KRAX: But father.
ZEK: I'm old. The fire dims. I'm just not as greedy as I used to be.
KRAX: Yes, you are. More so.
ZEK: No, my mind's made up. I've already chosen my successor. A leader whose vision, imagination, and avarice will oversee Ferengi ventures in the Gamma Quadrant. The new Grand Nagus. Quark!
(General disbelief and consternation)
GRAL: He's a lobeless amateur!
KRAX: Father, have you lost your mind?
NAVA: I won't stand for this!
(The business men storm out, overturning chairs)
ZEK: Congratulations. I know you'll do a wonderful job.
[Sisko's quarters]
(Family breakfast)
SISKO: Oatmeal lumpy again?
JAKE: Nah, just not hungry.
SISKO: Want to talk about it?
JAKE: It's Nog. His father's pulled him out of school.
SISKO: I see.
JAKE: It's not fair. Nog can't even read. School's not going to be much fun without him.
SISKO: You can still get together with him after school.
JAKE: Maybe. I don't think he wants to be my friend anymore.
SISKO: Did he say why?
JAKE: He says humans and Ferengis don't get along.
SISKO: Usually they don't.
JAKE: But you're the one always saying that we should make friends with other cultures.
SISKO: I believe that, and I'm glad you believe that too. But human values and Ferengi values are very different. We've never been able to form a common bond.
JAKE: So Nog goes his way and I go mine?
SISKO: These things happen. Hey, how about after school we play a little baseball?
JAKE: I can't. I have something to do.
[Promenade]
(Robed and with the staff of office, Quark is processing with Rom at his side.)
GRAL: Grand Nagus Quark.
QUARK: I love the sound of that.
GRAL: I'm afraid we were never formally introduced. I am Gral, your new best friend.
QUARK: You wish to serve me?
GRAL: I wish to protect you.
QUARK: Protect me?
GRAL: From those who are jealous of your position and wish to take your place. They can be very dangerous.
QUARK: How do I stop them?
GRAL: Leave it to me. I'm not going to allow anybody to harm such a grateful friend as yourself.
QUARK: How grateful am I?
GRAL: Grateful enough to make sure that I have my pick of the most lucrative Gamma Quadrant opportunities.
QUARK: And if I refuse?
GRAL: You won't.
[Rom's quarters]
QUARK: Nagus, I'm in desperate trouble.
ZEK: So am I, and please, call me Zek. Now, which would you choose. Risa or Balosnee Six?
QUARK: I don't quite follow.
ZEK: For my vacation. My first in eighty five years. I'm told on Balosnee the soothing harmonies of the tide can cause the most stimulating hallucinations. But when I think of those voluptuous Risian females
QUARK: Nagus, please. Gral just threatened my life.
ZEK: So he's the first, is he? Well, he won't be the last.
QUARK: But what am I to do? You picked me for your successor. Surely you must have some advice?
ZEK: To survive, you must surround yourself with loyal men.
QUARK: That's good.
ZEK: But not too loyal. Never trust anyone who places your prosperity above their own.
QUARK: I see.
ZEK: And remember, when in doubt, be ruthless.
QUARK: Yes. I can do that. Go on.
(Zek is still)
QUARK: Zek. Zek?
(Zek's servant checks him. No response)
QUARK: I didn't do anything.
[Quark's]
(In front of a portrait of Zek, the Ferengi are examining plastic holders of green ash)
NAVA: I don't know, Krax. Twenty bars of gold press latinum? I'll need to think about it.
KRAX: In a year it will be worth twice as much.
NAVA: All right, I'll take it.
ROM: You want me to be your bodyguard?
QUARK: Think of it as a promotion.
ROM: But why me?
QUARK: You're the only one left I can trust. You're my closest associate, my friend, my brother.
ROM: But I thought since you'd be so busy being Grand Nagus, I could take over running the bar.
QUARK: (hysterical laughter) You? Run my bar?
(Rom runs out)
ODO: Not exactly overcome by grief, are we?
QUARK: This is a private funeral service.
ODO: You have my sympathies for your loss. Nevertheless, when someone dies on my station there are questions that must be answered.
KRAX: There was nothing suspicious about my father's death. It was caused by a massive infection of the tympanic membrane. A chronic condition.
ODO: Then I hope you won't mind if I ask Doctor Bashir to examine the body.
KRAX: That would be difficult.
ODO: What's this?
NAVA: My piece of Zek.
KRAX: You see, when a Ferengi of my father's stature dies, the body is automatically vacuum-desiccated and sold as a prized collectible.
ODO: How touching.
[Promenade - upper level]
(Two pairs of feet are dangling above the heads of passers by on the Promenade)
JAKE + NOG: I know there's a. I wonder where
JAKE: Go ahead.
NOG: It wasn't important.
JAKE: I guess humans and Ferengis don't have a lot to talk about.
NOG: That's what my father says.
JAKE: Mine too. That doesn't mean they're right. We always had stuff to talk about before. So what do you say, you still want to be friends?
NOG: Yes. When my father finds out, he won't be happy.
JAKE: Neither will mine. Come on, I have a great idea.
NOG: What is it?
JAKE: Come on.
[Quark's]
ODO: So, what exactly does it mean, becoming Grand Nagus?
QUARK: It means that from now on if you wish to speak to me, you must first make an appointment with Rom.
ODO: Don't be ludicrous.
QUARK: It's also customary to show respect by kissing my sceptre.
(Odo leaves)
QUARK: I suppose I could make an exception in your case.
(Quark puts his foot on a dropped coin, then bends down to pick it up, just as a small missile whooshes in and explodes against the wall.)
(Later, examining the crime scene)
O'BRIEN: You see the discoloration around the impact perimeter? These are sorium and argine traces.
SISKO: Aren't they Ferengi explosives?
O'BRIEN: Exactly. What we have here is a Ferengi locator bomb, designed to lock on to a target's pheromones.
ODO: You mean they're attracted to body odour?
O'BRIEN: Very deadly and very accurate. If Quark hadn't lowered his head at the last second
BASHIR: Commander.
SISKO: Yes, Doctor?
BASHIR: I've just given Quark a thorough examination. He's a bit shaken up, nothing more.
SISKO: I guess it's time to have little chat with the Grand Nagus.
ODO: I'd be delighted.
(On the way, Sisko spots a laughing Jake and Nog running along the upper level)
[Infirmary]
ODO: When are you going to get it through your twisted little brain that we are trying to save your life.
QUARK: You're trying to interfere in Ferengi affairs of state, which are none of your concern.
SISKO: Now look here, Quark.
ROM: Grand Nagus Quark.
SISKO: Those locator bombs are damn near foolproof. You were lucky once. Next time we could be scraping you off the walls.
QUARK: The Grand Nagus does not ask for help from outsiders.
ODO: I'm sure whoever tried to kill you is counting on that. You must have some suspicion who that could be?
QUARK: I'm suspicious of everybody.
ODO: But who would you say stands to benefit the most from your death?
QUARK: Let's see. That would have to be Krax. Yes, if anything happens to me, Krax becomes Nagus.
ROM: True, but let's not forget that it was Gral who threatened you.
ODO: Threatened you? How?
QUARK: That's none of your concern. Besides, Gral and Krax were at the funeral when the bomb went off. Which means that neither one of them could have set it.
SISKO: Whoever planned this could have had an accomplice.
ODO: You're sure all of Zek's associates attended the funeral?
QUARK: Yes, yes, they were all there. Look, this is getting us nowhere.
ODO: What about Zek's servant?
ROM: You mean Maihar'du?
QUARK: What about him?
ODO: Was he at the funeral?
ROM: I don't recall seeing him there. Do you?
QUARK: Now that you mention it, no, I don't.
(Quark and Rom leave)
ODO: Interesting. Hupyrian servants are renowned for their devotion to their employers. For Maihar'du not to have shown up at Zek's funeral is very odd indeed.
[Sisko's quarters]
(Breakfast on the run for Jake)
SISKO: You were out pretty late last night.
JAKE: I was?
SISKO: You came in after midnight.
JAKE: I guess I got kind of busy doing stuff.
SISKO: What kind of stuff?
JAKE: Nothing important. Just hanging around.
SISKO: With Nog?
JAKE: We weren't doing anything wrong.
SISKO: Good. Then you can tell me all about it.
JAKE: I can't. It's private.
SISKO: Private?
JAKE: I got to go or I'll be late for school.
SISKO: I want you home in time for dinner. Understood?
JAKE: Understood.
[Quark's quarters]
NAVA: The thing is, Nagus, I feel I've done all I can in the field of gouge mining.
QUARK: You wish to find profit elsewhere.
NAVA: Yes, Nagus.
QUARK: And where would that be?
NAVA: I'd like the chance to introduce synthehol to the Gamma Quadrant.
QUARK: A very lucrative opportunity. Tell me Nava, when Zek announced I was to succeed him, were you pleased?
(We see Quark is sitting in a chair, stroking a gilvos, and doing his Blomfeld impression)
NAVA: No, Nagus.
QUARK: Did you come to me and offer your support?
NAVA: No, Nagus.
QUARK: Yet, now you call me Nagus. But is it out of true friendship? No. You only pretend to show me respect so I will grant you this immense opportunity.
NAVA: Which I'm willing to split with you. fifty-fifty.
QUARK: Well, in that case, let's hope the Gamma Quadrant develops a taste for synthehol.
NAVA: Yes.
(Nava kisses the sceptre and leaves)
KRAX: A very smart deal, Nagus.
QUARK: I seem to have a knack for it, don't I.
ROM: Yes, Nagus.
QUARK: The rest will have to come back tomorrow. All this benevolence wearies me.
ROM: Yes, Nagus.
KRAX: As you wish, Nagus.
QUARK: I think I'll head over to the bar and check the receipts.
KRAX + ROM: Yes, Nagus.
(Quark leaves)
KRAX: If he keeps handing out these choice opportunities, he's going to become very popular.
ROM: We'll just have to come up with a new plan. Something more reliable than a locator bomb. Something that can't possibly fail to kill my dear brother.
[Sisko's quarters]
(Sisko is catching a ball in a baseball mitt when the doorbell rings)
SISKO: Come in.
DAX: I was going to ask you to join me in a round of Jokarian chess but I can see you're just sitting down to dinner.
SISKO: I sat down a half hour ago, about the time Jake was supposed to be home.
DAX: Aubergine stew. Looks delicious. So where's Jake?
SISKO: Where else.
DAX: With Nog.
SISKO: Going through my own adolescence was difficult enough. Surviving my son's is going to take a miracle.
DAX: Maybe it's time you had a little talk with Jake. Children need to know their boundaries. I should know, I've been a mother three times and a father twice.
SISKO: Which was easier?
DAX: Actually, I wasn't very successful either way, so feel free to reject what I'm about to say, but if I were you, I would go find Jake and bring him here to eat his dinner.
SISKO: You would?
DAX: Absolutely.
SISKO: Computer, locate Jake Sisko.
COMPUTER: Jake Sisko is in cargo bay fourteen.
SISKO: Thanks, old man.
(Dax helps herself to a bowl of stew)
[Cargo bay]
(Sisko can hear voices)
NOG: There are four teen
JAKE: Fourteen planets.
(Sisko sneaks in, staying hidden behind barrels, and watches the reading lesson)
NOG: Planets in the Bajoran. What's that word?
JAKE: System.
NOG: System.
JAKE: That was pretty good. Want to try some more?
NOG: The lar, largest planet is Bajor. It has three moons?
JAKE: You got it. Keep going, keep going.
NOG: The third moon, it has
[Quark's quarters]
(Rom is fastening Quark's collar for him)
QUARK: You clumsy idiot. You want to strangle me?
ROM: My apologies, Nagus.
QUARK: Stop daydreaming and pay attention to your work.
ROM: Yes, Nagus.
QUARK: When do we leave?
ROM: Just as soon as you're ready, Nagus.
QUARK: I've always wanted to take a trip through the wormhole. Still, it's odd Zek never mentioned that he'd travelled to the Gamma Quadrant, let alone opened negotiations with one of its worlds.
ROM: Negotiations that you will have the honour of completing. According to Krax, Stakoron Two contains rich deposits of mizanite ore.
QUARK: A very lucrative opportunity.
ROM: Quark?
QUARK: What now?
ROM: About the bar. You have so much, and I have so little.
QUARK: Which is exactly how it was meant to be.
ROM: Come. Let's not keep our new partners waiting.
[Promenade]
(Maihar'du goes into the airlock, and Odo watches)
KRAX: May I say, Nagus, that my father himself never looked more commanding.
QUARK: I've been thinking, maybe it would be wise to take a dabo girl along with us.
KRAX: Whatever for?
QUARK: A pretty woman by my side will only add to my prestige. Never underestimate the importance of a first impression.
KRAX: One look at your imposing features, and the Stakoron negotiators will give us everything we ask for.
QUARK: All right, if you really think I won't need her.
KRAX: Believe me, you won't. Shall we?
[Airlock]
(Maihar'du goes into a ship. Odo oozes under the closed door)
[Airlock corridor]
KRAX: This is an historic moment.
(Krax opens the airlock.)
KRAX: Nagus.
[Airlock]
(Quark walks in and then)
QUARK: There must be some mistake. There's no ship docked here
(The door closes behind him)
QUARK: Wait! Rom, you idiot. Krax, what are you standing there for? What's the matter with you two? Open the door! Do you hear me? Open up. You must obey your Nagus!
KRAX: Sorry, Quark, but you've just been voted out of office.
QUARK: Rom! Brother! Please!
ROM: So you were going to toss me out an airlock.
QUARK: I never meant it.
ROM: Well I do. Rom's. Nice name for a bar, don't you think?
KRAX: Enough talk. Let's get this done.
[Airlock corridor]
KRAX: Would you like to do the honours, or should I?
QUARK: Let me out! Let me out of here! Please.
(Rom's hand moves slowly towards the control)
ZEK: Release him.
(Zek, Maihar'du, and Odo.)
ROM + KRAX: Nagus! You're alive!
(Odo releases Quark)
ODO: Well, Quark, looks like you needed my help after all.
(Odo leaves)
ZEK: Don't you recognise your father?
KRAX: You died.
QUARK: I saw it happen.
ZEK: You saw me enter a Dolbargy sleeping trance. Maihar'du taught it to me.
KRAX: But why, father?
ZEK: It was a test to see if you were ready to take my place. And you failed miserably.
KRAX: But father, I am ready. I am ready. You saw for yourself. I was about to grab power.
ZEK: You don't grab power. You accumulate it quietly without anyone noticing.
KRAX: But, but, I don't understand.
ZEK: The bar, you fool. That was the key. All those visitors stopping by on their way to and from the wormhole. You could have sat there quietly at your leisure and gathered up all the information you needed about the Gamma Quadrant.
KRAX: But what about him?
ZEK: You could have let him hold the sceptre while you controlled everything from the shadows. And then, when everything was running smoothly, only then would you take over.
KRAX: But, Father.
ZEK: No! I'm not interested in excuses. Go back to the ship. We'll be leaving here shortly.
KRAX: Yes, Father.
(Krax leaves)
ZEK: It's like, it's like talking to a Klingon.
[Quark's]
QUARK: I guess this still belongs to you.
ZEK: Yes, it looks like I'll have to remain Grand Nagus long enough to establish a Ferengi presence in the Gamma Quadrant. And I was really looking forward to retirement. If I hear of any good Gamma Quadrant deals you'd be right for, I'll let you know.
QUARK: You know where to find me.
ZEK: You've done a very profitable job with this place. Who knows, maybe one day I'll come back and buy it from you.
(Zek and Maihar'du leave)
QUARK: So, Rom, you were going to toss me out an airlock.
ROM: Forgive me, brother.
QUARK: Forgive you? Why, brother, I didn't think you had the lobes. Such wonderful treachery deserves a reward. I'm going to make you the assistant manager of policy and clientele here at Quark's.
ROM: What exactly does that mean?
QUARK: How should I know, I just made it up. Come on, I'll buy you a drink.
[Promenade]
(At the jumja stall)
JAKE: So, what time tomorrow?
NOG: How about as soon as you get out of school.
(A Vulcan woman walks past in a tight catsuit. The boy's hormones kick in.)
SISKO: Jake.
JAKE: Dad, what are you doing here?
SISKO: I was waiting for you.
(Sisko hugs Jake)
JAKE: Dad.
SISKO: You're a great boy, you know that? Now go be with your friend.
2024-09-12 01:38:50 -
Pike:
Added the transcript.
