DIRECTED BY
AIRED ON
February 23, 2000
RUNTIME
44 minutes
STARRING
VIEWS
192
LAST UPDATE
2024-09-13 18:27:36
PAGE VERSION
Version 1
LIKES
0
DISLIKES
0
SUMMARY
Stardate: Unknown. The inhabitants of the holo-city of Fair Haven suspect the Voyager crew of having mystical powers when they witness the use of their futuristic technology.
STORY
No story yet.
BEHIND THE SCENES
No trivia yet.
QUOTES
FILMING LOCATIONS
TOPICS
No topics yet.
REVIEWS
Evil Jen
Written by
Pike on 2018-03-30
★
★
★
★
Jennifer, Mark's wife, is without a doubt the most evil character in the series so far. Since the first episode, she first complains about wanting her husband to work in a different place, she then wants to work outside and moves, she then leaves him, then takes him back, then cheats on him. No wonder the audience hates her.
SUMMARY
An excellent episode. I give it 7 out of 10.
TRANSCRIPT
[Fair Haven - street]
(We are back in Idyllic Olde Ireland. Paris is driving a very early horse-less carriage, and honking the horn constantly. He scares the sheep.)
PARIS: Get out of the way! Sorry.
SEAMUS: Tommy-me-boy, you're a little fast there.
(Paris crashes into barrels, knocking off a front wheel.)
SEAMUS: Did you hurt yourself, Tommy boy?
PARIS: I think I zigged when I should have zagged.
SEAMUS: Well, maybe you ought to stick to a horse and carriage. Still, she's a beauty. The world must be treating you well to afford such a thing.
PARIS: Er, just dipping into my inheritance.
SEAMUS: Oh, come into some money, did you? So who's passed on?
PARIS: Er, my grandfather on my mother's side. An aristocrat, God rest his soul.
SEAMUS: Sounds like he was a fine man. I'd drink a toast to him, if I had a shilling to me name.
PARIS: Here. It's on me.
SEAMUS: It'll take three pints to do a proper job, Tommy boy, and this isn't even enough for two.
PARIS: There, that's all I've got.
SEAMUS: You're a generous man. Care to join me at Sullivan's?
PARIS: Oh, I wish I could, but I'm on my way to Castle O'Dell.
SEAMUS: Night's coming. And they say when the sun goes down the Queen of the Faerie folk reclaims the castle.
PARIS: I'll give her your regards.
SEAMUS: Don't say I didn't warn you.
(Seamus walks away, then turns when he hears Paris speak.)
PARIS: Computer, replace damaged tyre.
SEAMUS: Saints preserve us.
[Sullivan's]
(Seamus is downing a large drink, with a crowd gathered around him.)
SEAMUS: I thought I would die from the shock of it.
MICHAEL: Now, Seamus, you're not a great one for telling things the way they were.
SEAMUS: I'll admit I've been known to add a little colour to stories from time to time to liven things up. But with God as my witness, I saw Tom Paris using unnatural powers to fix that wheel of his.
MICHAEL: Tommy boy practicing unholy magic. Next thing you'll be telling me is, you want to pay for your own drinks.
SEAMUS: Make fun if you like, but he was heading up to Castle O'Dell only an hour before dark.
FITZGERALD: Oh, leave it alone, Seamus. Can't one day go by without you making an ass of yourself?
MILO: But that Tom Paris is an odd one. Coming and going through town as if he built the place.
SEAMUS: That's right. And where does he go?
MILO: Oh, he's a shifty one. And for that matter, so are his friends.
MICHAEL: If you're talking about Katie O'Clare, you'd better watch your mouth.
MILO: Well, you know what they say, Sullivan. Birds of a feather.
MICHAEL: They also say superstition is the religion of fools.
SEAMUS: Killmannin, 1846.
VILLAGER: What?
SEAMUS: Old Patsy down in County Meath spoke of a band of spirit folk who came to Killmannin in '46.
MICHAEL: Killmannin. Did you ever hear of it, Doc?
FITZGERALD: No, this is the first.
MILO: Ah, you won't find it on any map. Not any more.
SEAMUS: It was a town mot much different than Fair Haven. That is, until this group of strangers arrived. The townsfolk welcomed them with open arms. After all, a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet. But they regretted their hospitality soon enough.
MILO: The cows stopped giving milk. The potatoes grew rotten in the ground.
(The Irish Famine, which drove so many people to emigrate, lasted from 1845 to 1852.)
SEAMUS: Then people started to go missing.
FITZGERALD: Oh, go on.
SEAMUS: It's true.
MICHAEL: What happened to them?
MILO: They were taken to the Other World.
SEAMUS: When winter came, and the nights grew longer, the entire town vanished. Every post, every nail, poof, into thin air, never to be seen again.
FITZGERALD: Are you suggesting that Fair Haven's going to go the way of Killmannin, just because we have a few new folks in town?
SEAMUS: I'm suggesting you keep an eye on Tom Paris and his cohorts. Not to mention that lady friend of yours.
MICHAEL: So Katie's some kind of goblin now, is that it?
SEAMUS: She's certainly cast a spell on you.
MILO: Well, if you ask me
MAN: Shush.
MICHAEL: Katie.
JANEWAY: Am I interrupting?
MICHAEL: Aw, just some nonsense. Seamus is up to his old tricks again.
MAGGIE: Good day to you, Katie.
MICHAEL: Oh, it's good to see you. What'll it be?
JANEWAY: The usual, please.
MICHAEL: Well, one cup of tea coming right up. Did you snatch any children on the way into town, Katie?
JANEWAY: What?
MICHAEL: Never mind. I missed your smile. What have you been doing with yourself?
JANEWAY: Nothing terribly exciting. Just helping my aunt and uncle out on the farm. They're not as spry as they used to be. Although, they've got a goat that could argue Mossie Donegan's talking pig under the table.
MICHAEL: You'll have to bring him into the bar the next time you're up. We'll arrange a debate.
JANEWAY: I'll see that I do. I hear they opened a nickelodeon in Dooleen. I thought it might be nice to go to a show.
MICHAEL: I've got to tend the bar. I wish you'd let me know you were coming, I would have made arrangements.
JANEWAY: That's all right. We can go some other time.
MICHAEL: No, I mean, you've already made the trip. It'd be a shame if you had to leave.
JANEWAY: Well, I could be convinced to stay, if you'd be up to a game of Rings. Let's go.
[Mess hall]
KIM: Computer, one dozen Broadway lilies.
PARIS: Something tells me that's not lunch.
KIM: I already ate.
PARIS: Ah. Who are they for?
KIM: A friend.
PARIS: Oh, and this friend wouldn't happen to be a lovely Irish lass, now, would she?
KIM: Aren't you due on the bridge?
PARIS: Ah, you'd better watch yourself, Harry. These country girls aren't as simple as you think. Maggie O'Halloran could be a little more than you can handle.
KIM: Heard about your little traffic accident.
PARIS: That was a clutch malfunction. It wasn't my fault.
TORRES: If you ask me, that whole programme is an accident waiting to happen. You've been running Fair Haven around the clock. Just yesterday, I had to replace three holo-emitters.
PARIS: I ran a full diagnostic this morning. Everything is fine.
TORRES: Whatever you say. But, when your quaint little seaside town starts to depolarise, don't come running to me.
KIM: If you'll excuse me, I'm late for a moonlight stroll.
PARIS: Are you sure you don't need a chaperone?
KIM: Not with your driving record.
PARIS: I think I know just what'll make his date just a little more interesting.
TORRES: Just don't blow out any more holo-emitters.
[Fair Haven - street at night]
(Paris is dodging in and out of the shadows, following Kim and Maggie. He also has two people following him.)
MILO: What are we doing out here, Seamus? Skulking about in the dark, spying on folks.
SEAMUS: What's the matter, Milo? You got a case of the willies?
MILO: Well, what if you're right? What if this Tom Paris is some kind of demon? If we're caught, he'll cast a spell on us.
SEAMUS: Then stop your squawking, or he'll catch us for sure. Come on, man. He's getting away.
KIM: A captain is only as good as his crew.
MAGGIE: It must be lonely out there on the sea with only the stars to guide you.
KIM: Sometimes, during the night watch, with the timbers creaking and the dark water stretching out as far as the eye can see, you can believe you're the only man in the world.
MAGGIE: Maybe you should think about settling down on dry land.
KIM: Oh, believe me, I do. As often as I think of you.
MAGGIE: Can I ask you something, Harry?
KIM: Of course.
MAGGIE: Would you like to hold my hand?
KIM: If you promise to hold mine back.
SEAMUS: Look. He's got some sort of contraption in his hand.
MILO: Maybe we're going about this the wrong way. We should go down to Saint Mary's and tell Father Mulligan the whole story.
SEAMUS: He's not going to listen to talk of the supernatural.
MILO: Och, if you fill his collection box, he'll listen to anything.
SEAMUS: That's true.
KIM: I thought you were promised to Ray Euan.
MAGGIE: Not anymore. Can I ask you something else, Harry?
KIM: Please.
MAGGIE: Would you like to kiss me?
KIM: Is that a trick question?
(Maggie changes into a cow.)
MILO: Holy mother of God!
(Paris is laughing.)
KIM: Tom! Don't you have anything better to do?
PARIS: Boy, she really turned on you.
KIM: Ha, ha, very funny. I could have been trampled.
PARIS: Relax, the holodeck safeties are on. There's nothing to worry about.
KIM: All right, all right. You've had your fun. Now change her back.
CHAKOTAY [OC]: Chakotay to Paris and Kim. Report to the bridge.
PARIS: On our way.
KIM: Hey, what about Maggie?
PARIS: She'll be fine. Let her graze.
SEAMUS: Let her graze. Did you hear that?
[Saint Mary's - Sunday morning mass]
ALL: Amen.
EMH: Please be seated. I recently heard a tale of two farmers, who shall remain nameless for the sake of this sermon. It seems one broke the other's plough and refused to replace it. His come-uppance was served to him not by the hand of God, but by the other farmer, in the form of a clogged irrigation ditch. Now, do you think their disagreement stopped there? Of course not. They go on, just as the heathen did of old. After all, one spiteful act deserves another, right? Wrong! What these sinners have forgotten is that they are neighbours.
GRACE: He's in love with the sound of his own voice.
EMH: Whether we are man or woman, parent or child, flesh and blood, or photons and force fields. It has been said.
GRACE: On the other hand, perhaps he's been nipping at the sacramental wine.
EMH: And as such, our community is everything. It is our world, and we are a part of it, just as a branch is part of a tree. Do you see branches tearing leaves off one another? No! Do you see roots hoarding water from the trunk? No! Do you see
(Mooo!)
MILO: Easy, Maggie. Whoa. Easy now.
SEAMUS: Father.
EMH: Did you make a wrong turn on your way to the milking shed?
SEAMUS: Weren't nothing like that at all, Father. Something terrible's happened.
EMH: What now?
MILO: This was Maggie O'Halloran. The spirits have turned her into a cow.
GRACE: Maggie O'Halloran's been eaten by a cow?.
EMH: Did you see these spirits?
SEAMUS: That we did. Tom Paris, and Harry Kim.
EMH: I hate to disappoint you, but it sounds as though you've been the victim of a practical joke. Tom Paris is a known prankster.
MILO: Oh, it was unholy magic, I tell you. We saw it with our own eyes.
EMH: When did this alleged transformation take place?
SEAMUS: Last night.
EMH: Well then, that settles it. This couldn't possibly be Maggie O'Halloran. I saw Maggie this morning on my way into church. She was at her cart tending her flowers. She's probably there now. Well, I, I think that's enough excitement for one morning. This mass is over. Go in peace. Er, leave the cow.
MILO: Oh, all right, Father. Excuse us, Maggie.
SEAMUS: Take care, Maggie.
[Street]
(Maggie reappears by her flower cart just before Seamus and Milo come around the corner.)
SEAMUS: Maggie!
MAGGIE: Well, good morning, boys.
SEAMUS: Is everything all right? You're looking a little out of sorts this morning.
MAGGIE: Yes. Well, I must admit I'm not quite myself today.
SEAMUS: Oh?
(They help her to sit on a nearby bench.)
MAGGIE: Well, this is going to sound very odd but I feel like I just woke up from the strangest dream, and I don't remember going to sleep.
MILO: You're right, that does sound odd.
SEAMUS: Do you remember anything about last night?
MAGGIE: Well, I was out with Harry Kim. He chatted me up at the Ox and Lamb, and we were off on a walk before I knew it.
MILO: What did you do on your walk?
MAGGIE: We talked. What kind of a girl do you think I am?
SEAMUS: Now, Maggie, we weren't implying anything.
MILO: No.
SEAMUS: Do you recall anything else about the evening?
MILO: Er, did anything out of the ordinary happen? Anything at all?
MAGGIE: I don't remember.
SEAMUS: Well, tell us about the dream, then.
MAGGIE: Oh, it was most unpleasant. I was walking around town with nothing but a bell around my neck. Well, somehow I wound up in church. Everyone was staring at me. You were there, Seamus, and you too, Milo. The next thing I knew, I was tending my flowers just as you boys walked up.
SEAMUS: Well, that's quite a story, Maggie.
MILO: Can we get a quick one?
SEAMUS: Maybe just a wee taste.
[Sullivan's]
MILO: So, I said to young Harry, I'm not one for rainy days and grey skies. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, he called up the spirits to do his bidding. A second later, there wasn't a cloud in the sky.
EDITH: I was up near Ballahick Farm with little Mary. She was playing near the well. Somehow, she lost her footing and fell in. I was so frightened I didn't know what to do. So I ran to the Colbys to get some help. But when we returned, there was Mary in the meadow talking with Katie O'Clare. There wasn't a scratch on her. Katie said I must've been mistaken when I saw her fall. There was no mistake.
GRACE: I saw something strange, too. Well, I hesitated to say anything for fear you'd think me mad. But after listening to your stories today I feel you've a right to know.
MILO: Well? Speak up.
GRACE: Last Sunday, after his sermon, I saw Father Mulligan vanish into thin air.
MILO: He's one of them, right enough. Father Mulligan, Tommy boy, Katie and the rest. They're spirit folk!
MAGGIE: Well, what about that Neelix fellow who runs the Ox and Lamb? Well, if he doesn't look like a leprechaun I don't know who does.
SEAMUS: They're all probably up at Castle O'Dell, conspiring against us.
MICHAEL: Now, that's enough! I can't deny there's been some unusual goings on, but what are you proposing? That we run Katie and her friends out of town? Or maybe we should line them up in front of a firing squad. Is that what you want? These people have been our neighbours. We've become friends. Let's not forget that.
SEAMUS: Well, we can't just sit here and do nothing while they take over Fair Haven.
MICHAEL: I'm not saying we do nothing, but let's go about this like civilised people.
MILO: What do you suggest, we sit them down and discuss it over tea?
[Sullivan's - after hours]
MICHAEL: You're looking lovelier than ever, Katie.
JANEWAY: Thank you.
(He hands her a small packet.)
MICHAEL: Open it.
JANEWAY: The Faerie Queene by Edmund Spenser. Thank you, Michael.
MICHAEL: It's the longest poem in the English language, and the first to use a nine line stanza.
JANEWAY: I'll start reading it tonight. I love epic poetry.
MICHAEL: Really? I didn't know that. It seems as if there's a lot of things I don't know about you. I thought you'd want to know there's been some talk about you and your friends. Strange things have been happening around town. Folk are saying you're to blame.
JANEWAY: What kind of strange things?
MICHAEL: People using unholy magic. Vanishing into thin air. Changing the weather.
JANEWAY: By any chance would all this have anything to do with your reading suggestion?
MICHAEL: As a matter of fact.
JANEWAY: Don't tell me. They say I'm the Faerie Queene.
MICHAEL: Frankly, they could tell me you're the devil himself and I wouldn't care.
JANEWAY: I'll try not to take that personally.
MICHAEL: The sad truth of the matter is, I don't know who you are.
JANEWAY: What do you mean?
MICHAEL: You've been lying to me, Katie. I've been doing some checking with friends of mine in County Clare. Seems nobody's heard of you there.
JANEWAY: It's a big county.
MICHAEL: And I've got a lot of friends. You've been evasive from the day we met. I was a fool not to see it. Where do you go when you leave here? There've been times I wanted to talk to you, tell you about my day, about a book I'd read, just to say hello. But I can't, because I don't know where to find you. What're you hiding, Katie?
JANEWAY: I'll admit I have misled you about some things, but never about anything important. And I wasn't lying when I said I care about you.
MICHAEL: I wish I could believe that.
JANEWAY: You can. I didn't want to deceive you, but under the circumstances I had no choice.
MICHAEL: What circumstances?
JANEWAY: Michael, there are things about me you may not be able to understand.
MICHAEL: Try me. Who are you, Katie? Where are you really from? The truth.
JANEWAY: Computer, end programme.
[Corridor]
JANEWAY: How did he know? Those are questions no holodeck character should be asking. What exactly did you do to that programme?
PARIS: Well, I, I just added a few bells and whistles to make the characters more realistic. Nothing too fancy.
JANEWAY: Well, something's gone wrong. The people of Fair Haven aren't simple country folk anymore.
[Engineering]
JANEWAY: Report.
TORRES: It looks like we've worn out our welcome.
PARIS: It's the first time we've tried running a holodeck programme non-stop. We're lucky it lasted this long.
TORRES: There are damaged subroutines in all of the character files.
PARIS: So much for my open door policy.
JANEWAY: Shut it down. And repair the damaged systems.
[Holodeck research lab]
KIM: As I recall, everything was fine until someone started turning people into cows.
PARIS: Computer, display Fair Haven character Michael Sullivan.
(Michael fritzes before solidifying then looking around.)
KIM: Tom.
MICHAEL: Where am I? Where's Katie?
PARIS: He shouldn't be aware that he's in the lab.
KIM: I've isolated the damaged subroutines.
MICHAEL: I said, where the hell am I?
PARIS: It's all right, Michael. Take it easy.
MICHAEL: What is this place?
PARIS: Try to relax.
MICHAEL: If someone doesn't tell me where I am, I'm going to start busting heads.
KIM: His perceptual filters are malfunctioning.
MICHAEL: What're you saying? What's a perceptual filter?
PARIS: It's, it's okay. We're trying to help you.
KIM: There. Look at these. Those are the algorithms designed to keep him oblivious to anything outside the programme's parameters.
PARIS: They're offline .
KIM: Give me a minute. That should do it.
PARIS: How are you feeling, Michael?
MICHAEL: Never better. Harry, Liam's been looking for you. You're the only man in four counties to beat him at arm wrestling. He wants a rematch.
KIM: Tell him he's got one.
MICHAEL: I'll do that.
PARIS: Ha. Well, that was easy enough.
KIM: Yeah. Unfortunately it looks like all the other characters have the same malfunction.
PARIS: Don't tell me we're going to have to go through every one of them?
KIM: If we reactivate the programme, use the primary control port in Sullivan's pub, we could reset all the perceptual filters with a single command sequence.
(Michael is listening carefully.)
PARIS: I guess we'll be seeing you later.
MICHAEL: Looking forward to it.
PARIS: Computer, resume Fair Haven programme in Holodeck one, and transfer Michael Sullivan back to his bar.
[Street]
(Michael runs out of his bar and accosts a boy playing with a stick and hoop.)
MICHAEL: Danny. Danny.
DANNY: Yes?
MICHAEL: Come here. Fetch Doc Fitzgerald. Tell him to meet me in the church. Go on. Hurry, lad!
[Bridge]
PARIS: We thought we'd reset his perceptual filters until we took a closer look at his subroutines. Turns out he was just playing along.
JANEWAY: Never underestimate an Irish hologram.
KIM: We'll have to reprogramme Michael when we do the others.
JANEWAY: Let's just hope he didn't share the experience with too many others.
KIM: Got it. These resequenced algorithms should do the trick.
JANEWAY: Good luck.
(Paris and Kim leave.)
JANEWAY: What the hell was I thinking?
CHAKOTAY: A minor malfunction.
JANEWAY: Well, that's the problem. I've got a boyfriend who malfunctions.
CHAKOTAY: Tom and Harry'll fix him.
JANEWAY: And if they can't?
CHAKOTAY: One piece of advice you've always given me. Tell the truth.
JANEWAY: Hate to break the news to you, Michael, but I'm a starship captain and you're a three hundred deciwatt holodeck programme. I couldn't do it.
CHAKOTAY: In that case, you'll have to get creative.
[Saint Mary's]
MICHAEL: I'm not a superstitious man, Doc, but I've been seeing things I can't explain.
FITZGERALD: You're not the only one. At first I thought we had an epidemic on our hands, but this is no fever.
MICHAEL: No, it's not. Last night I was talking to Katie, and the next thing I knew I was being spirited away to God knows where.
FITZGERALD: They took you? Where?
MICHAEL: Maybe it was the Other World. I don't know. Tom Paris was there. Young Harry, too.
FITZGERALD: What did they want with you?
MICHAEL: I'm not sure. They were talking about me like I wasn't there. Saying things about Fair Haven. That we knew too much about them.
FITZGERALD: Oh, Lord.
MICHAEL: And that's not all. They were saying something about coming to the pub tonight to change the town somehow.
FITZGERALD: What does that mean?
MICHAEL: I'm damned if I know.
FITZGERALD: How did you get away?
MICHAEL: With all the talk about us knowing too much about them, I figured that if I pretended nothing was out of the ordinary, they might let me go. And sure enough, that's exactly what they did.
FITZGERALD: I wonder if this is how things started in Killmannin back in '46.
MICHAEL: I'm not sure what they have in mind, but we'd better be prepared.
[Sullivan's - night]
(Paris and Kim enter in period costume, and carrying lanterns.)
KIM: We're in luck. Nobody's home.
(They go to the holodeck control panel by the bar. Grace watches them through the window.)
[Saint Mary's]
(The rest of the townsfolk are gathered.)
SEAMUS: If we're going to fight them, we've got to use the right ammunition! Biddy Ramsey gave me this before she passed on. She knew a thing or two about faerie magic and how to fight it. Everything she learned, she learned from this book.
MICHAEL: I doubt if it says anything about using rifles.
MILO: You'd be surprised how many things a bullet will stop.
MICHAEL: I don't like this one bit. Guns, Seamus.
FITZGERALD: Under normal circumstances, I'd agree with you, Michael, but these aren't normal circumstances.
MILO: Maybe you'd still like us to be acting civilised. Where did that get you before? A ticket to the Other World, that's what.
FITZGERALD: We don't know what the spirit folk have in store for us.
MICHAEL: That's just it. We don't know much about anything, do we? And we've got Milo here acting like a holy war has been declared.
SEAMUS: Relax, Sullivan. The rifles are only a last resort. Besides, we've got incantations, which are more lethal to spirit folk than any weapons forged by man. That's how we're going to force them back into their realm. And we've got red twine to stop them from changing shape.
(While the men stand around and talk, the women are busy.)
MILO: And don't forget about the ash berries.
SEAMUS: Ash berries, right. That's how you keep them from using their powers against you. They've been walking amongst us for weeks now, pretending to be our friends, lying to us, making mischief. What's next?
MILO: Yes, what is next, Seamus?
SEAMUS: I for one am not going to stand by and let them run roughshod over our town.
ALL: No!
SEAMUS: We can't rest until we've driven every one of them out.
(Grace runs in.)
GRACE: They're here! Tom Paris and Harry Kim. They're in Sullivan's right now.
SEAMUS: Who's with me?
[Sullivan's]
(The mob rush in, shouting, and put a net over Paris and Kim.)
PARIS: Seamus, let us explain. You're making a mistake.
MILO: The only mistake we made was letting you into Fair Haven. What's that?
SEAMUS: Shoot it!
PARIS: No, wait, wait. That's a delicate piece of technology.
(Milo shoots the panel.)
COMPUTER: Warning. Holodeck controls and safety protocols are offline.
MILO: A voice from the Other World.
COMPUTER: Emergency overrides are malfunctioning.
(It gets shot again.)
PARIS: Computer, freeze programme!
COMPUTER: Sixty two percent compliance.
(The net disappears, and a lot of the characters are frozen.)
SEAMUS: They're getting away! After them!
[Street]
PARIS: Computer, exit!
(The arch flickers briefly then disappears again. The mob catches them, and drags them away.)
[Briefing room]
JANEWAY: Gunfire?
CHAKOTAY: Two shots directly at the primary controls. We can't deactivate the programme or get the safeties back online.
JANEWAY: Where are Tom and Harry now?
TORRES: Saint Mary's. Looks like some of your parishioners are holding them captive.
NEELIX: We can't blame them for being frightened. They must think we're some kind of sorcerers.
CHAKOTAY: Well, we could use a little magic right now, because that's about the only way we're going to get our people back.
JANEWAY: Transporters?
CHAKOTAY: Too many stray photons. We can't get a lock.
SEVEN: We should enter the holodeck with a security team and take them by force.
TUVOK: Need I remind you the holo-characters have weapons as well. We'd be risking armed conflict.
TORRES: Well, then let's just pull the plug. Cut power to the hologrid.
NEELIX: That would purge the programme from our database.
TORRES: Exactly.
NEELIX: But we'd lose Fair Haven and all its people.
SEVEN: They're not people. They're holograms.
JANEWAY: And they weren't programmed to be violent. I don't believe they'd harm anyone.
TORRES: You can't be certain.
JANEWAY: Well, I am certain, and I'd like to find a less drastic solution.
TORRES: With all due respect, Captain. Michael can be reprogrammed. Tom and Harry can't.
JANEWAY: One problem at a time, B'Elanna. The people of Fair Haven may not be real, but our feelings toward them are. I won't destroy these relationships if we can find another way. Now, if we could attach transport enhancers onto Tom and Harry, would that be enough to cut through the interference?
TUVOK: I believe so.
JANEWAY: Good. Then we just need to get someone close to them. Doctor.
EMH: A few words of inspiration should get me within reach.
SEVEN: I suggest you use your mobile emitter. It'll isolate you from the malfunctions.
JANEWAY: Good idea. Stand by to cut power to the hologrid in case things get out of hand.
TORRES: Aye, Captain.
JANEWAY: In the meantime, I believe your flock needs tending.
[Saint Mary's]
(Seamus is up in the pulpit reading from Biddie's book on incantations whilst a salt circle is drawn around the chairs Paris and Kim are tied to. Other men are flicking holy water at them.)
SEAMUS: Ex labis caelestium sanctorum super ad aures atrorum larvarum mentientium. From the lips of the heavenly saints above, to the ears of the dark and lying spirits, may your spectral forms be cast back to the Other World. Back to the Other World! There must be some trick to these incantations.
(Milo puts a tool box on the pulpit edge. It contains a small PADD.)
MILO: What do you make of this, Seamus?
KIM: We should just tell them the truth.
PARIS: Oh, good idea, Harry. Do you want to tell them they're only holograms, or should I?
SEAMUS: I see you left your box of charms at Sullivan's. I believe this is the talisman you used on Maggie. Maybe we should turn them into cows.
PARIS: No, no, there's been a misunderstanding. We are not spirit folk.
MILO: I think we've heard enough of your lies, Tommy boy. I say we tie them up to the lamp post in the square and show them how spirit folk were dealt with in the olden days.
MICHAEL: Leave them alone. It's bad enough you've got them trussed up like Christmas turkeys. There's no need for foolish threats.
MILO: You'd better watch whose side you're on. You're not above suspicion yourself.
MICHAEL: Oh, so we're going to start turning on one another now, is that it?
MILO: We are, if you're choosing them over your own people.
EMH: Sinners! Sinners, all of you. You have the audacity to turn a house of worship into a prison? This is where we gather to pledge our love for our fellow man, not condemnation. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
SEAMUS: Quite a rousing sermon, Father, but I'm afraid you're not going to find too many takers tonight.
MILO: Not after your little vanishing act. It seems Grace Declan saw you disappear into thin air on Sunday.
SEAMUS: Aye, I'd say that sounds a wee bit unholy. You're in league with them, aren't you? Tie him up with the others.
EMH: Listen to yourselves. You're letting confusion and fear get the best of you. Doctor to Janeway.
SEAMUS: What's this?
(The transport enhancers.)
EMH: Fire and brimstone don't seem to be working.
MILO: Look here, Seamus. Another talisman.
(The mobile emitter.)
SEAMUS: Quick, get it off of him.
[Bridge]
JANEWAY: Beam him out of there.
TUVOK: His program's been disengaged from the mobile emitter.
[Saint Mary's]
SEAMUS: And what were you planning on doing with these?
KIM: Those are the devices that will allow us to leave. You just put them on our coats and we'll be on our way.
MILO: You'd like us to believe that, wouldn't you.
SEAMUS: Something tells me these are spirit charms. We pin them on you and God knows what powers you'll have.
MICHAEL: This is no charm. It's some kind of a machine.
MILO: It doesn't matter. They won't be telling us the truth about any of it.
SEAMUS: Oh, they'll tell us the truth, all right. There's more than one way to pluck the wings off a pixie. We'll induce a trance. Give me Biddy Ramsey's spoon. Keep your eyes on the silverware, Father.
(Seamus swings the spoon in front of him.)
EMH: I hope you know this is blasphemous. Oh, this is ridiculous. I can't be hypnotised.
(He falls under the spell of the swinging silver spoon.)
[Bridge]
CHAKOTAY: I can't isolate the Doctor's programme.
JANEWAY: He's been integrated into the Fair Haven matrix. He's vulnerable.
[Saint Mary's]
SEAMUS: Tell us the words. How do we banish the spirit folk to the Other World?
EMH: There is no Other World. Only Voyager.
MILO: Voyager?
EMH: Federation starship, Intrepid class, registry number NCC74656.
MICHAEL: You're from some sort of vessel?
EMH: Mmm hmm.
SEAMUS: He's talking gibberish.
MICHAEL: Maybe he's not. This ship of yours. Is that where you took me?
SEAMUS: Look here. It says if you can get a spirit to reveal his true name you'll render yourself impervious to his charms.
MILO: What is your true name?
EMH: I haven't decided on one yet.
MICHAEL: Katie's on that ship, isn't she? Tell me where to find her so I can get to the bottom of this.
PARIS: I'm sorry, Michael. I can't do that.
MICHAEL: Then I guess I'm asking the wrong person. (to EMH) Tell me how to get to Voyager.
MILO: What are you doing, Sullivan?
SEAMUS: No man who's gone to the Other World has ever come back.
MICHAEL: I have. How do I get there?
(The EMH slowly turns his head to look at the mobile emitter in Michael's hand.)
[Bridge]
TUVOK: Captain, the mobile emitter has been activated.
JANEWAY: Lock onto the signal.
(Michael is beamed to the bridge.)
MICHAEL: I had a cousin went to America. He saw some strange things, but nothing like this.
JANEWAY: You're not in America. This is a starship. It's called
MICHAEL: Voyager. I know.
TUVOK: Should I transfer him back to the holodeck?
JANEWAY: No. My name isn't Katie O'Clare. It's Kathryn Janeway. Captain Kathryn Janeway. It's going to be difficult to explain. Maybe it's best if I just show you.
MICHAEL: You've seen my world. It seems fair that I should have a chance to see yours.
CHAKOTAY: Captain?
[Corridor]
MICHAEL: So, this really is a starship. But how can that be possible?
JANEWAY: Have you ever read The Time Machine, by H. G. Wells?
MICHAEL: Are you telling me you've travelled back through time?
JANEWAY: In a manner of speaking.
(They pass two crewmen.)
MICHAEL: That's Patrick Gibson and his cousin, Frank. They work on the wharf. They're in my pub every Saturday night for the rings tournament.
JANEWAY: You'll find a lot of familiar faces on Voyager. We've been visiting your town for months.
MICHAEL: Why?
JANEWAY: We're explorers.
MICHAEL: I'm not letting you off the hook that easy, Kathryn Janeway. There must be more interesting places to explore than Fair Haven.
JANEWAY: Can you think of any place you'd rather be?
MICHAEL: I guess that leaves but one question. How long are you planning on staying?
JANEWAY: Well that depends if we're still welcome.
MICHAEL: My door is always open. But you're the captain of a starship, I'm a barkeep.
JANEWAY: Just because we're from different worlds doesn't mean we can't care for each other.
TUVOK [OC]: Tuvok to Janeway.
JANEWAY: Go ahead.
TUVOK [OC]: The situation has escalated.
[Bridge]
TUVOK: The townspeople have started to pile kindling at the base of three lampposts
[Corridor]
TUVOK [OC]: In the village square.
JANEWAY: Stand by.
[Saint Mary's]
SEAMUS: Take them outside now.
(Michael and Janeway enter. Milo points his rifle at them.)
MILO: Stay back.
FITZGERALD: What are you doing?
MILO: That might not be Michael Sullivan. A demon could have taken his shape.
MICHAEL: It's me, Milo. I've been to the place they call Voyager, and I've brought Katie back with me.
JANEWAY: I've come in hopes that we can resolve our differences peacefully.
MILO: Peacefully? I'm sure that's what you told the people of Killmannin.
MICHAEL: They had nothing to do with what happened in Killmannin, if it happened at all.
JANEWAY: We're truly sorry for what's happened here. We never meant to frighten anyone.
MICHAEL: Seamus, you were right about one thing. They are quite different from us, but not in so many ways that we can't be friends.
JANEWAY: And we're not spirit folk. Some of our technology may seem like magic, but I assure you it's not.
MICHAEL: Katie showed me things that are beyond our comprehension. They have machines that I can't begin to describe, but not once have they used them against us. Quite the opposite, in fact. Milo, you said you didn't like the rain and young Harry Kim made it go away. Edith Mulchaey herself said that Katie O'Clare pulled her daughter from the well and out of harm's way. These are not the deeds of spirits and mischief makers.
SEAMUS: But they turned Maggie into a cow.
PARIS: That'll never happen again, I swear.
MICHAEL: There, you see? We have his word, and if we can't trust a man's word in Fair Haven, what can we trust?
JANEWAY: If you want, we'll leave and never bother you again. But we'd prefer to find some way to keep our friendship alive.
(Janeway takes the mobile emitter from Michael and puts it on the EMH's arm. He comes out of his trance.)
EMH: Captain?
MICHAEL: I, for one, would like to keep playing rings with Harry and Tom, keep having Neelix's steamed cabbage at the Ox and Lamb, keep taking walks with Katie. Let's not turn our backs on these good people. If we do, we're only punishing ourselves. Just because we're from different worlds doesn't mean we can't care for each other.
[Engineering]
TORRES: If we're going to retain the programme, we can't keep running it around the clock.
PARIS: Not until we've repaired these damaged systems.
TORRES: Not ever. We've pushed the limits of holotechnology and they pushed back. If we try it again, we're just asking for trouble.
JANEWAY: I'm afraid we're going to have to close your open door policy.
PARIS: Yes, ma'am.
TORRES: What about the characters. Should I purge their memories of the last few days?
JANEWAY: No, leave them.
EMH: They think we're spacemen from the future. It won't exactly be like old times.
JANEWAY: We learn to accept alien species with new technologies. Let's hope the people of Fair Haven will learn to accept us. But before we shut down the programme and begin repairs, what do you say to one more round at Sullivan's? My treat.
[Fair Haven]
MILO: You may be from the moon, Tommy boy, but I've got three shillings that says I can still whip you at rings.
PARIS: Oh, you're on.
MAGGIE: Hello, Harry.
PARIS: I'll catch up with you later.
SEAMUS: Tommy boy! I've been told there's a pot of gold somewhere in Glen Abbey. Would you be able to find it with one of those fancy machines of yours?
PARIS: Just follow the rainbow, Seamus.
SEAMUS: Rainbow, eh?
KIM: I didn't think you'd ever speak to me again.
MAGGIE: Well, I suppose I can forgive and forget. It's not that often you meet a handsome young man from outer space.
(Janeway gives Michael a packet.)
MICHAEL: What's this, Christmas come early?
JANEWAY: It has for you. Open it.
MICHAEL: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, by Mark Twain. I've read some of his books, but not this one.
JANEWAY: It's about two people from different times who fall in love, among other things.
MICHAEL: Sounds familiar. Maybe I have read it. Thank you, Katie. Or Kathryn now, is it?
JANEWAY: Och.
MICHAEL: They say if you know a spirit's true name that it renders you impervious against her charm. Do you think there's any truth in that?
JANEWAY: Not a word.
MICHAEL: I'm glad to hear it.
2024-09-13 18:27:36 -
Pike:
Added the transcript.
